My parents-in-law spend all our savings

I am 35 years old, and we’ve been married for 12 years after meeting overseas. We currently work abroad and have been sending VND50 million (US$1,964) each month to my wife’s parents since the beginning of our marriage. This arrangement was made to help us purchase a home in Hanoi when we decide to return to Vietnam permanently.

Recently, believing that we had accumulated enough funds, we asked my father-in-law to start looking for properties. However, he persistently advised against purchasing, citing reasons like "bad location," "poor feng shui," or the properties being "overpriced."

Driven by concern, we traveled back to Vietnam for the first time in four years to see the situation for ourselves. Upon our arrival, my parents-in-law revealed that they had spent all the money on renovating their own home and on buying a plot of land 100 km from the center of Hanoi.

My father-in-law suggested that we could live with them, noting that at nearly 70 years old, they were unsure about their future.

"Our house will eventually be yours, and the land we invested in will also belong to you both," he reasoned.

Despite their justification, nothing is more important to us than having our own place, which we’ve worked hard to earn. Moreover, living with them as their son-in-law is not an option for me.

Both my wife and I are deeply upset and unable to come to terms with their actions. My wife has even gone so far as to say she will disown her parents.

How should I navigate this situation?