My mother-in-law fears my husband would stop sending her money after marriage

By Dinh Huong   June 22, 2024 | 07:49 pm PT
Ever since my husband began earning, my parents-in-law, who were just over 45 at the time, have depended on the financial support he provides and opted to stay at home.

Born into a family burdened with debt, my husband has always aspired to build a house for his parents. He funded his education through student loans and part-time work, and upon employment, he sent most of his salary to his mother to save for clearing the family’s longstanding debts and to eventually build a house, keeping only a minimal amount for himself. I supported our daily living expenses with my salary out of love for him.

Annually, he sent his mother over VND100 million (US$3,929). However, after five years, she claimed the debts were still unpaid, and no progress had been made towards building the house. She even spread rumors that my husband had been unsupportive since he started working, was disrespectful, and withheld money for himself, fearing that marriage would stop him from sending money home.

Only when I met my husband’s relatives in person did their perception of me and my husband change. His grandmother advised me to stop the financial support as it was never sufficient for his mother. His aunt criticized my mother-in-law for her inactivity, recounting an occasion when she encouraged my mother-in-law to work, but those suggestions were ignored. My parents-in-law’s neighbors began distancing themselves as well.

Despite these challenges, my husband and I continue to visit my parents-in-law, bringing gifts and groceries, though I have lost faith in my mother-in-law’s words.

Is my approach justified?

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