My husband insists I check on his parents but never does the same for my widowed mother

Marriage is meant to blend two people, two families, and two different worlds. I once dreamed of a life filled with shared happiness between our families, only to realize that not all my hopes have come true. This realization makes me feel sad and unfairly treated.

When my mother was ill, rather than offering support and comfort, my husband mocked the situation to his sisters and expressed concern that I might use the family’s money to care for her. What’s even more disheartening is that he consistently prioritizes using his earnings for his own relatives while keeping this financial support a secret from me. While his family receives substantial help, my family is given only a token amount, as if it were charity.

My husband also insists that he does not need to be responsible for my family and never participates in my father’s death anniversaries, which is particularly painful for me. As a result, my family and I choose not to accept money from him, fearing that he and his family may later claim they were financially supporting us in the event of our divorce.

I wish my husband could understand that marriage involves responsibilities not only to one’s spouse but also to both families. Without sharing and empathy, marriage becomes a painful bind. I don’t expect him to change entirely, but I hope he can come to respect and care for my family as I have always respected and loved his.

What can I do to change my husband’s perspective?