My mother-in-law voices dissatisfaction with yearly invitations to my father’s death anniversary

Every year, my mother invites my in-laws to commemorate this occasion, an invitation we consider deeply significant, transcending the mere formality of a meal. Yet, our efforts are often met with disappointment, despite the fact that my mother always actively participates in my husband’s family events. For example, my mother attended the funeral of my husband’s grandmother and sent my husband to offer incense when his uncle died. She even accompanied a distant relative to visit my seriously ill sister-in-law.

Conversely, our invitations to my in-laws often receive lukewarm responses. In recent years, they have opted to send money with excuses of illness, despite my prior visits confirming their well-being. Additionally, their farming lifestyle afforded them considerable time flexibility, and they didn’t have to go by themselves since my husband could drive them with his car. Still, instead of attending, they preferred to send offerings with my husband and me.

This year, during my father’s death anniversary, we visited my in-laws. My mother-in-law reiterated her belief that such events are overly frequent and unnecessary.

My father, who passed away in an accident during my childhood, left my mother to raise my sibling and me alone. She ensured we grew up well-mannered and successful, maintaining our family’s dignity. It’s disheartening that my in-laws hold such dismissive views despite my husband’s respectful observance of traditions.

When questioned by my relatives about their absence, my mother downplays the situation, claiming they are preoccupied with their ancestral rituals.

I wonder if I am overthinking the situation, or if there is a genuine lack of regard from my in-laws, despite our efforts to maintain familial harmony and respect.

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