I will decline if my father-in-law wishes to live with my husband and me

By Quynh Anh   May 25, 2024 | 04:22 pm PT
Although I have relocated from North to South Vietnam with my husband to escape living with my in-laws, my father-in-law persistently requests to move in with us.

Reflecting on my experience living with my in-laws three years ago still terrifies me, as it profoundly affected my mental well-being.

But currently, my father-in-law is staying with us and subtly indicating his desire to live with us permanently, which has left me feeling unable to smile, suffocated, and irritated all week, despite being the main financial provider in the family while my husband earns nothing.

In the past, when I was in my husband’s hometown after having given birth, I felt compelled to fulfill my in-laws’ expectations. After enduring that for a year, I reached my limit and had an open discussion with my husband. Thankfully, he supported me effectively, mediating between me and his parents.

Over time, I established a firm stance as well, and now I independently make decisions without considering my in-laws’ opinions.

Consequently, should my father-in-law express a desire to live with us permanently, I will clearly assert my refusal. I prefer to upset him now to secure peace later, as I cannot accept being dominated, instructed, and excessively interfered with by my father-in-law.

Is my thinking justified?

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