My wife and father-in-law usually borrow money from me

By Thanh Hoa   June 19, 2024 | 11:24 pm PT
My wife and her father frequently borrow money from me, often requesting amounts ranging from VND10-20 million (US$393-$786).

I am 34 years old, my wife is 28, and we have a six-year-old daughter. We married in 2019 after a six-month relationship. I now realize that I made a hasty decision, even though I knew she had no stable job, transportation, or even a personal laptop while we were dating.

I earn about VND30 million a month from my job, with additional income from my business bringing my total monthly earnings to VND50-60 million. I provide my wife with just enough money to cover our daughter’s education and other household expenses.

Since moving in together, I’ve been puzzled by my wife’s spending habits. For instance, I discovered she was behind on her rent by two to three months, which led to pressure and pursuit from the landlord.

Post-marriage, she quit her job due to lack of social insurance coverage and started freelancing. With no formal qualifications and a child, she did not pursue other job opportunities and stayed home for two years. I introduced her to stock trading to help her understand the economy better, which in hindsight, was a mistake, as she secretly sold all our gold wedding gifts for trading.

In addition to sporadically borrowing money from me with her father, she has accrued a personal debt of VND200 million to me, taken from the sale of land I made before our marriage under the pretext of an investment she promised to repay but has not.

Furthermore, she took out VND450 million from her acquaintances who trusted my reputation, believing the loan was a joint decision. As she was not able to repay, her parents had to intervene.

I recently reviewed her credit card and personal loan debts and found that they totaled about VND400 million. This financial turmoil has left me feeling lost and uncertain, particularly with our child in mind, making the thought of divorce daunting. Since discovering this, communication between us has significantly diminished. I spend my days working, and she cares for our daughter.

What should I do now?

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