I can’t bring myself to respect my in-laws

I am 35 years old, have been married for 10 years, and am a mother to two young children. We reside about 20 km from my in-laws, and only see them occasionally. Over time, my relationship with them has soured, especially after an event that occurred two years ago.

During a month-long stay at their home, I caught my father-in-law taking money from my wallet. Though the amount was relatively small—VND3 million (US$118)—the betrayal left me deeply shocked and disappointed. Aware of his gambling problem, however, I had never anticipated he would steal from me. When confronted, he admitted his mistake but offered no apology, merely stating "I made a mistake."

My attempt to move past the incident faltered when my mother-in-law took his side. She advised me: "You shouldn’t tell your husband about this whether your father is wrong or not. This should be kept within us; you shouldn’t make a fuss out of it."

Since that episode, my desire to maintain a close relationship with my in-laws has vanished. Despite my mother-in-law’s continued kindness—frequently gifting me and preparing my favorite meals—her gestures now seem like nothing more than a cover for her insincerity.

I am content in my life with my husband and children, yet I’m troubled by having kept the incident from my husband. The strain of pretending to be happy around my in-laws during visits and holidays has become a mental burden. I’ve thought about severing ties with them, but I worry about the impact on my otherwise happy marriage.

Should I disclose the incident to my husband, or should I keep it to myself to preserve our family’s peace? Would he be understanding and supportive if I were to express these feelings? Am I being selfish for putting my feelings ahead of family harmony?