Wedding incurred a loss as family of 4 gave only $40 as gift

June 11, 2024 | 03:43 pm PT
Wedding incurred a loss as family of 4 gave only $40 as gift
Cash gifts are often expected at weddings in Vietnam. Illustration photo by Pexels
Parents need to buy plane and bus tickets for kids older than 10, but they do not gift more money when they bring their children to weddings, my friend complained.

Most of the time, couples who invite guests and their plus-ones to their weddings anticipate having one to two additional attendees. However, I know of many weddings where the bride and groom were upset because their guests brought more companions than expected.

My friend just had a wedding last month and she was frustrated because they used up all their backup tables due to the actual number of guests being higher than expected. I was that wedding and saw that there were roughly 15 kids, each child with their own seat. I even saw a couple with two kids occupying four seats, so I and my group had to find another table. My friend informed me that they were relatives from the countryside. "They took up four seats but only gifted VND1 million (US$39.33)," she sighed.

Life often brings situations that make us ponder and contemplate. And I guess wedding cash gift is now life’s greatest question.

In my opinion, this issue can be looked at from two perspectives: etiquette and practicality. In terms of etiquette, giving a wedding gift is a gesture of sharing joy and wishing happiness to the newlyweds. Therefore, the amount should be based on one's financial situation and relationship with the bride and groom. Only giving VND1 million as a family of four may leave the bride and groom feeling disappointed, especially since they have spent a significant amount on the wedding.

Meanwhile, from a practical standpoint, empathy for the bride and groom is also necessary. Wedding guests are provided with food and drink, not just the seat, so for a large family, the amount given should be proportional to their headcount.

In my opinion, families should discuss and agree on an appropriate amount of gift money. They can refer to the prices of services in the wedding area to estimate costs. It is better to think about attending the wedding to share the joy with the bride and groom rather than worrying about the expenses.

We should put ourselves in the shoes of the wedding hosts to understand and sympathize with them.

What are your thoughts on this matter?

Reader Minh Hai

*This opinion was translated into English by AI. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.

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