Bank QR codes on wedding invitations imply a ‘debt repayment’ expectation

By Gan   February 4, 2024 | 03:00 pm PT
Printing banking information’s QR code on wedding invitations pressures guests to feel obligated to give cash gifts, a move seen as tactless and not aligned with traditional Vietnamese values.

The practice of embedding bank account numbers or QR codes on wedding invites is growing, especially among the youth, who adopt it after seeing friends do so. This method, while considered a new etiquette for guests who cannot attend in person, subtly implies an expectation for cash gifts, suggesting guests repay monetarily if the couple previously attended their weddings.

From my perspective, weddings should be organized within one’s financial means. If a lavish celebration is not feasible, scaling back and inviting fewer people is preferable over expecting guests to help cover costs through cash gifts.

Dismissing the idea of QR codes for cash gifts should be natural unless one seeks to indirectly recoup wedding expenses. Those justifying its convenience overlook the essence of hospitality, whereas a more thoughtful approach is to place the QR code discreetly at the reception.

Moreover, guests genuinely wishing to give a gift will find a way without the need for a QR code. Thus, couples should avoid the implication of guests needing to "repay a debt" through their gifts.

Reflecting on my own wedding over 15 years ago, I would not choose to include a QR code on invitations today. Those unable to attend should simply inform the couple and send their best wishes.

Cash gifts are meant to celebrate the couple’s union and offer support, not to create an obligation for reciprocity. When attending weddings of those who gifted them, couples should give what they can afford, without feeling compelled to match received amounts.

For instance, a few of my siblings face financial challenges, yet those among us who are more financially stable assist them, resulting in their weddings incurring almost no costs. Some of them even managed to save enough to refurbish their homes later. If we had adhered strictly to the notion of "repaying cash gifts," they could have ended up in financial ruin.

In conclusion, including a QR code for cash gifts in wedding invitations is a personal choice rather than a standard expectation. For convenience without imposing, couples might consider placing the QR code only at the venue, offering a tactful option for guests wishing to give monetary gifts. This approach respects both tradition and the personal circumstances of all involved.

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