Man who left France to live in Vietnam’s mountains after finding love

Xuan, who is from Tran Yen District in northern Yen Bai Province, was widowed after the sudden death of her husband in a workplace accident.

Her son, Nguyen Tuan Anh, had been only three years old then. "I promised myself to stay single and raise my son until he turned 18 before taking another step," the 44-year-old ethnic Tay woman says.

The sole breadwinner of the family, she worked all kinds of jobs everywhere to take care of her aged mother and child.

As her son grew older Xuan’s face became more weathered. Friends tried to set her up with two men, but neither express an interest in her. One day in 2018, while surfing Facebook, she noticed a dating application.

With the English learned during her two years as a housekeeper for homestays in Sa Pa, she decided to try the app.

A few days after creating an account on it, she opened the app again and saw many messages awaiting her.

Looking through them, she stopped at the photo of Bertrand Le Garrec, a man with a gentle-looking face. He was the only one she decided to give her phone number to.

Xuan and Le Garrec visit the Lung Cu Flag Tower in northern Ha Giang province in January 2023. Photo courtesy of Xuan

The next morning she woke up to see a text message on her phone from the Frenchman.

He introduced himself as a 53-year-old retired captain of an ocean liner with 37 years of seafaring experience. He was divorced and had three adult children.

After a while Xuan realized Le Garrec was very honest. He was also punctual, texting her daily exactly at 12:30 p.m. and 9 p.m. Vietnam time.

Sometimes he made video calls to show her what he was doing, like going to the supermarket or making food.

He would even include his mother and older sister in the calls. Three weeks later he flew to Vietnam to meet Xuan.

"I'd never seen a woman's hand as rough as hers," the now 59-year-old says about their first encounter. "She didn’t have her nails done and kept her hair long and black. I thought she was down-to-earth and hardworking and had been through a lot."

A week later he invited Xuan to join him on a trip, a good opportunity for them to learn more about each other.

Xuan became convinced he was a kind and generous man. "He rented two rooms, let me keep his passport and gave me money to spend for the two of us," she says.

For his part, Le Garrec thought Xuan was sincere and able to take good care of her family. He confessed his feelings for her and asked her: "Have you determined your feelings for me?"

Xuan did not answer right away. Instead, she called her son and mother, telling them there was a foreign man who wanted to get to know her.

Everyone in the family was overjoyed at hearing the news, and they encouraged her to go ahead.

The next day she took Le Garrec home to her village. Her extended family had gathered to prepare a welcome meal. Though it was his very first time in Vietnam, he quickly learned to adapt to the culture, helping with making spring rolls and spreading straw mats for eating.

He hugged her son Anh as the two talked about things the teenager could not share with his mother. After the meal, Xuan took him to her ex-husband’s grave for an "introduction."

Le Garrec paid his respects and promised he would take care of Xuan and her son from then onwards.

Bertrand and Xuan at their wedding in 2023, two years after registering their marriage. Photo courtesy of Xuan

The Frenchman stayed with Xuan and her family for a few more days before returning to France, promising to come back half a year later.

But he was back on his second trip to Vietnam after just one month. He stayed for nine months this time as the couple spent time travelling around the northwest. They then decided to get married.

Le Garrec flew back to France to handle the marriage registration paperwork, but then Covid-19 broke out. It kept him confined for a full year to his hometown of Ploneour Lanvern in the northwest of France.

Unable to travel, he dearly missed Xuan and her son as well as his life in Vietnam. "I then decided I would spend the rest of my life in Vietnam," he says.

One winter day in 2020 he announced he was selling one of his two houses in France. He told her that the money from selling the house would help him do many things in Vietnam, and that his pension would be enough to sustain their lives.

In April 2021 he was finally able to fly to Vietnam, and the two finalized their marriage registration. Since Anh wanted to live on his own, the couple built him a new house in Tran Yen District.

They chose to start their new life in Che Cu Nha Commune, Mu Cang Chai District, 180 km away from Xuan’s hometown.

In the sparsely populated area, they bought an empty piece of land. From there Le Garrec showed his wife the beautiful views around it: "Up there is a white waterfall that seems to fall from the sky. In front of us are terraced fields that look like silk strips. And to the left is a winding S-shaped stream."

They started building a stilt house with materials bought from dismantled old buildings in the area.

She took care of the design, while he oversaw construction. They made walking paths with gravel collected from a nearby stream.

The couple also planted many trees and flowering plants like cherry apricot and cosmos in ther garden. Their three-story stilt house was completed after a full year of construction.

They also built two other buildings nearby as homestays that can hold up to 60 people. In the spring of 2022 their homestay opened its doors to guests.

After settling down in their new home, Bertrand took his wife to France for the first time. He says that ever since Xuan came into his life, his own family has grown a lot closer.

For the whole month Xuan was there, every member of his family took turns inviting her over for meals. "My sister never came over to my place to have food before Xuan’s visit to France. Now my family really enjoys gathering and having fun."

Le Garrec hugs his mother-in-law at his wedding in April 2023. Photo courtesy of Xuan

For Xuan, it was a great blessing that someone could sell their house, leave their homeland and come to Vietnam just to be with her.

Every day Le Garrec has accompanied his wife whether to the market, get her hair washed or just meeting other women. He has fitted effortlessly into village life and won everyone’s affection and regard.

He always makes time to attend traditional ceremonies, contributing some alcohol, fruits and sweets every time he does so.

Xuan is most grateful for the way he treats her family. When her daughter-in-law gave birth to their grandson, Le Garrec stayed at Bac Ninh Hospital for three days to take care of the mother and baby.

Every time his stepson’s family of three visits their house, he always has three money envelopes to give to each of them. One time he visited the grave of Xuan’s ex-husband, saw weeds growing and came back and told her she needed to visit more often.

Another time his death anniversary coincided with Vietnamese National Day, which is one of the peak tourism seasons.

With so many guests at their homestay, Xuan could not go to her hometown and visit the grave. A miffed Le Garrec told her: "No matter what you do, you have to go back home on his death anniversary."

She says: "On the first of every lunar month and full moon day, he cleans the altar, sets up fruit plates as offerings and lights incense for my ex-husband."