My parents pressure my wife and me to repay loan to cover my younger brother’s gambling debts

I am the eldest son in a large family that was once harmonious and united—until my younger brother started gambling and accumulating debt. Each time, he would plead with my parents, and they would pay off several hundred million dong (VND100 million equals US$3,917) to bail him out. This has happened at least five or six times. Altogether, my parents have likely spent up to VND1 billion to clear his debts.

Meanwhile, my wife and I borrowed money from my parents to address some financial matters, with the understanding that it would be part of their retirement savings, which we would return to them in their old age. However, now that my younger brother has fallen into debt again, my parents are pressuring us to repay our loan immediately so they can "save" him once more. On top of that, they also demand that we pay them monthly interest.

Since we cannot afford to pay them back in full right now, I objected to my parents’ habit of covering my brother’s debts, arguing that it only enables his reckless behavior. Sure enough, every few months, he racks up more debt. My parents, however, seem displeased with my stance. Their attitude toward my wife and me has noticeably changed—they confide in us less and have become distant.

Regarding the loan repayment, my wife initially agreed to pay interest without issue. But when she learned that my parents had repeatedly covered my brother’s massive debts while demanding repayment from us, she felt deeply hurt and frustrated. Why, she wondered, is my younger brother given endless financial bailouts while we, as the responsible ones, are pressured to pay back every cent with interest? She sees this as unfair treatment, and her resentment has only grown.

Recently, my younger brother found himself in debt again, and my parents secretly covered it without telling us. When my wife found out, it was the last straw. In frustration, she declared: "If they treat us so unfairly, I won’t cheat them out of their money, but I won’t rush to repay them either. If they want their money back, they should let me sell the land."

To clarify, my parents had given us a piece of land, and my wife suggested selling it to pay off our debt. But my parents strongly opposed this idea, further escalating tensions within the family. Now, our relationship with them, as well as with my siblings, has become strained.

As the eldest son, I deeply value filial piety and feel a strong responsibility toward both my parents and my own family. However, this situation has left me feeling helpless. I want to support my wife while also maintaining family harmony, but I don’t know how to resolve this conflict in a fair and reasonable way. Honestly, I can handle external problems, but when it comes to family, I feel lost.

If you were in my position, what would you do?