My parents pressure me to break up with my boyfriend due to our differing family backgrounds

I'm an average-looking woman of below-average height, yet people often remark on the brightness of my face and my sharp, clever demeanor. Born into a middle-class family in Hanoi, I received a comprehensive education, attended a specialized high school, and graduated from one of the top universities. My parents have always loved and adored me immensely. While working at a major bank, I earned a respectable salary and faced no financial pressures.

Throughout my high school and university years, and into the first two years of my career, I didn’t date anyone, despite numerous advances. This was likely because I am quite selective about the personality traits I seek in a potential life partner.

My boyfriend is 27 and was an outstanding student, graduating as valedictorian from a university in Da Nang, Central Vietnam, and participating in numerous national competitions. He currently works as an IT engineer for a foreign company, earning US$2,000 a month. His family background is modest, with his parents holding unstable jobs and showing little interest in their children. Apart from him and one sister, his seven other siblings have only completed middle or high school education.

We met online during a challenging period at work for me. I had been communicating with many people, but he stood out due to his intelligence, wit, and knowledge. Our first meeting was at my favorite cafe on a Sunday afternoon. Although he appeared somewhat shabby, neglecting his appearance that day, his intelligence was evident. I arrived in my family’s car, dressed in office attire. He was articulate, humorous, and led the conversation effectively, which deepened our connection.

He then expressed his feelings several times, but I initially hesitated due to the responsibilities he shouldered from being from a coastal area with many siblings. Nevertheless, his kindness and persistence eventually won me over, and I agreed to date him.

Our relationship was deeply romantic, reflecting our sentimental natures. After getting to know him, my parents wanted me to introduce him. My father was neutral, but my mother was strongly opposed.

Throughout our dating period, my boyfriend was incredibly attentive, always ready to cater to my desires and patient with my sometimes selfish and immature behavior. He drove me to work, brought me meals, and picked me up daily. In the evenings, he cooked while I took care of the cleaning. Despite his demanding job and limited sleep, he made a point to spend as much time with me as possible.

He also lent a hand during the renovation of my family’s home. His kindness and honesty shone through, especially when he offered valuable advice about my work. I, who am meticulous about appearances, helped him enhance his style by working out together and selecting clothes for him.

Everything was peaceful until the 10th month of our relationship when my father, recognizing his hard work and integrity, suggested we get married despite his challenging family background. However, my mother remained strongly opposed. My boyfriend didn’t give up. He gradually began to win my mother over by purchasing household items and assisting with chores.

From my perspective, a visit to his home revealed the stark realities of his family situation, prompting me to suggest that we break up. Yet, he was adamant that with mutual effort and growth, we could overcome any challenges. Confident in his abilities and motivated by his ambition, I decided to continue our relationship. He agreed to handle all expenses related to our potential wedding and meetings, which was feasible given our combined incomes.

A year into our relationship, everything changed. When our families met, my parents were taken aback by the differences in understanding, education, and lifestyle between our families and insisted that we break up. My father threatened to divorce my mother if I continued the relationship, fearing the stress of such in-laws could exacerbate his health—given his history of mild strokes.

Distraught, I sought comfort in my boyfriend, who was eagerly outlining the wedding plans, his eyes betraying his fatigue from early mornings and long days spent showing his family around the capital. I shared everything with him, and we both broke down, subsequently suffering from insomnia for several days. He then visited my house to express gratitude for my family’s assistance.

Despite still being in love, we recognized the need to part ways. We agreed to break up after a month, allowing us time to tie up any loose ends together. I’m still in disbelief that we were on the brink of marriage only to have to end things like this. My boyfriend professed his deep love for me, and he will forever remain a cherished love in my heart. Perhaps the blame lies with me, for even though I foresaw potential difficulties, I naively fostered hope and ultimately let him down.

What would you do if you were in my situation?