My husband attributes others’ successes to having wealthy in-laws

I’m 35 years old, married, and have a five-year-old daughter. My parents are farmers, and they almost never rely on me or my two sisters, except when they’re unwell.

My husband’s family, however, is in a similar situation financially but depends on us more. We provide them with VND7-10 million (US$277-$396) each month. His mother brings us receipts for her personal expenses, expecting my husband to cover them. Whenever she wants to go somewhere, we have to take her, as she never goes on her own, despite being under 60.

I’m reasonably attractive, work for a foreign company, and became a department head at 31. My monthly income is around VND60 million, about 1.5 times my husband’s. I have flexible hours, so I take full responsibility for caring for our daughter—from accompanying her to health check-ups and taking time off when she’s sick, to helping with homework and attending parent meetings. I feel confident in my parenting: our daughter is fluent in English and knows some Chinese.

I feel truly sad and am losing respect for my husband because of his constant dissatisfaction with my family background. Currently, we own two homes worth around VND6 billion, which we funded entirely ourselves. I’ve always worked hard to earn recognition, stand on my own two feet, and never thought of depending on anyone—not even my parents. Meanwhile, my husband has become increasingly different from me. After more than 10 years in the same job without career advancement, he blames his lack of progress on not marrying a wealthy wife.

I’ve tried discussing this with him, but it seems he can’t shake this mindset. Should I try to change my husband’s attitudes or get divorced?