My mother criticizes me despite receiving financial support from my wife and me

Previously, my family was poor. Through hard work, my parents achieved a level of prosperity that stands out in our community. They have two children: my younger sister, who is an elementary school teacher living nearby, and myself. My sister is married to a government worker, and they own a home and have stable jobs in our hometown. I moved away to advance my career and now have a family of my own.

I currently work as a production manager for a European company, and my wife is employed by a government agency. Additionally, we invest in real estate. Our combined monthly earnings are between VND70-80 million (US$2,765-$3,155), which is sufficient to meet our living expenses.

We own a house, a car, and several plots of land. Whenever we profit from land sales, we send gifts to both our parents. My wife determines the amount, typically sending between VND5-6 million to my parents once or twice a month. I also contribute to both sets of parents when I receive my salary, though my contributions are modest. Furthermore, I purchase household necessities for my parents.

Despite these efforts, my mother remains unsatisfied and criticizes me for not measuring up to my peers. While some who fall prey to gambling and the lottery receive her praise, I am the target of her discontent, even though I only occasionally drink with friends and mainly stay at home without gambling or smoking. She also wishes I were more like others.

If anyone suggests that my sister and I are not competent, it deeply affects my mother, causing her sleepless nights and prompting her to call me with various complaints. When I purchased a house and a car, my mother advised against it, almost preferring that I continue renting. Conversely, she commends others who make similar purchases and subtly implies my inadequacy.

In recent years, despite our desire to return to our hometown for the Tet Lunar New Year, my mother has discouraged us, calling it a waste of money, and reacts negatively when we insist on visiting.

Now, I no longer wish to visit my hometown. Since this year’s Tet in February, I haven’t spoken to my parents, although I still regularly send them money. My wife still frequently checks in on them and proactively sends money as needed.

Is my approach towards my mother justified?