My ex-husband’s family expects me to pay his hidden gambling debts

By Hong Hanh   June 18, 2024 | 05:54 pm PT
Despite concealing my ex-husband’s gambling debts, his family insisted that I should pay for them and even criticized me for not knowing about them after the debts were revealed.

I am a 35-year-old female office worker, attractive and well-educated. My parents are civil servants known for their integrity and dedication to helping others. I have always cherished the warmth and happiness of my family, qualities I hoped to find in my own marital life.

Unfortunately, my marriage turned out to be far from what I had envisioned. I had dated my ex-husband for five years, during which I felt happy and protected, both emotionally and materially. Despite his financial losses from land transactions amounting to VND2 billion (US$78,578) at the time of our marriage, I decided to marry him.

My ex-husband was high-earning, well-educated, handsome, kind, determined, and deeply devoted to his family. However, a month into our marriage, I discovered his use of synthetic drugs and his participation in raves. Although I was upset, upon learning of my pregnancy, I decided to give him another chance. He vowed to change, but soon after, he took up online gambling and accumulated massive debts.

His gambling was initially unknown to me, as his family, including his father, brother, and cousin who also gambled, shielded him. His brother even worked as a bookie. When the debts grew too large to conceal, his mother pressured me to take out a loan to cover them. I refused, having already spent my gold wedding gifts and savings to settle some of his debts while caring for our young child with no personal income.

The relationship between me and my ex-husband’s family became even more strained after that. My mother-in-law criticized my commitment to my husband, and his sister was openly disrespectful. When the debts became public, they blamed me instead of offering support.

Exhausted after two and a half years of turmoil, I decided to divorce. I could no longer tolerate their behavior. After I filed for divorce, my ex-husband took our child to coerce me into returning. When I attempted to retrieve our child, his parents refused. They also insulted my parents, accusing my family of immorality and of urging me to leave him. During these confrontations, I realized I had lost myself in this marriage.

A month later, the court finalized our divorce and granted me custody of our child. I returned to my parents’ home with my child, finding peace and stability once again.

Exiting the marriage brought me a sense of liberation, though I occasionally feel wistful for what might have been. Despite the tranquility of my current life, the divorce left me feeling somewhat unstable and like a failure. If only my ex-husband had not gambled, I believe we could have had a happy life together.

What do you think about my situation?

go to top