My in-laws pack fake gold in plastic bags as wedding gifts for me

By Thanh Loan   June 10, 2024 | 06:47 pm PT
At my wedding, my husband’s family gave me fake, cracked gold bracelets, wrapped in plastic bags as gifts, which made me feel quite disrespected.

My husband and I, both pharmacists with PhDs, had been dating for two years before we got married. Initially, his family appeared very welcoming towards my parents, believing that we were a good match professionally. However, as our career paths diverged—I was interested in starting a pharmaceutical business, while he preferred a stable eight-hour job—their attitude towards me began to change.

This shift became more evident when my husband invested a significant amount of money in my business idea, which his parents disapproved of, fearing it might disadvantage their son financially.

We legally registered our marriage but planned the actual wedding ceremony for four months later. When my parents shared the ceremony schedule with my in-laws a month before the event, my father-in-law protested the complexity of the ceremony and expressed a desire to limit the attendees to just our immediate families, adding that any additional guests from his side would have to be paid for by us.

Our engagement ceremony was previously skipped, which was disappointing enough, and now my wedding also felt compromised. To add to the strain, my husband’s behavior was erratic; he swung between deeply loving me and harshly critical. Just two weeks before our wedding—despite already sending out invitations and being legally married—he abruptly stated he didn’t want the wedding anymore.

During the wedding preparations, I felt alone as my husband, despite promises, never actually participated in planning. His parents excused this by saying since he was financially contributing, he didn’t have to help. I even had to handle booking hotel rooms for his family, during which my father-in-law verbally abused me over a minor booking issue.

On the day of our wedding, the gifts from my in-laws was subpar, and I felt a stark lack of respect from my in-laws, who perhaps felt their son’s status meant I would never leave him.

My husband’s demeanor also changed drastically during the ceremony. He was emotional and loving as we walked down the aisle, yet right after, he shockingly demanded the bride’s price back, though he later agreed to deposit it into our joint account after learning my mother had already returned it to us.

His fluctuating attitudes and the overall treatment from his family have left me resentful and disillusioned with our marriage. Despite his attempts to be more affectionate post-wedding, I don’t feel the same way. The entire experience, coupled with our prior civil marriage and the change in my parents-in-law’s attitudes due to his financial transactions for my business, has deeply affected my feelings.

The proposal from his family to split the wedding costs to save money, without contributing any effort, further compounded my frustrations. Now, I am contemplating divorce, feeling that my husband and his family’s actions have shown their true colors. I'm torn between filing for divorce or trying to overlook everything for the sake of the marriage.

What should I do?

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