Mom holds 2-decade grudge against dad for rejecting inheritance

May 21, 2024 | 02:56 pm PT
Mom holds 2-decade grudge against dad for rejecting inheritance
Marriage disputes can originate from conflicts over land inheritance. Illustration photo by Quynh Tran
My mom has resented my dad for the past 20 years because he declined his inheritance without discussing it with her, yet they live on the land she inherited from her parents.

From the outside looking in, everyone thinks we are a happy family. However, beneath that surface is a cold war that has been raging between my mother and father for two decades.

My grandparents have five children. My father is the second child, with an older sister and three younger siblings. On my mother's side, I have two uncles, who are my mother's older brothers.

The current house my family lives in was built upon land passed down by my mother's parents. The reason my mother has been in a cold war with my father for twenty years is because my father refused all inheritance from his side of the family.

His parents own many houses and plenty of fields. But for some reason, according to my mother, my father wanted to be a hero, so he refused to accept any inheritance, leaving it all to his siblings.

My mother says she will never forgive him for several reasons. Firstly, my paternal grandparents have a plethora of assets, so it is not like they are poor, yet my father chose to sacrifice our family and give everything to his siblings. Secondly, he never consulted or discussed it with her before making the decision. Thirdly, he never has any issues living on her inherited land. If she had acted like him, we would not have a house to live in.

The last reason could be summed up in one question that she once shared with me: "Has he ever thought about his children?"

I can only comfort her by saying that even without the inheritance from his side of the family, our family can still survive. My siblings and I still receive education and have stable jobs, and that is all that matters.

However, I doubt my mother will ever be satisfied by our reassurance.

I have seen people turning down their inheritance, but I advise you to think carefully and discuss that decision with your partner if you already have a family.

This is even more necessary for single individuals because they should have assets to fall back on during trying times.

Do not be like my father. Regardless of why my father did what he did, our family has never been the same after that.

Do you think my father was right to not accept his inheritance without consulting my mother?

Reader Minh Doan

*This opinion was translated into English by AI. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.

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