Should I give my mother money for cancer treatment?

By Ngoc Ha   August 11, 2023 | 04:00 pm PT
I’m 36 and currently unemployed. I come from a normal background family and have savings of VND400 million (around $17,000).

I have always thought of my mother as a self-centered and cruel person, who always thinks about herself and her own benefit. She and my paternal grandmother argued a lot, and she did not even cry when my grandmother died.

She also argues with my father, my older sister, my sister-in-law, me, and almost every neighbor of ours and her friend.

She nitpicks and talks badly about my father’s siblings, especially those who are richer than her or those who have children who are more successful than me and my siblings. She swears at whoever that makes her mad.

We live with my maternal grandmother since my mother is an only child. My mother, as always, argues with my grandmother a lot. She even rejected her relationship with my grandmother, making my grandmother so sad she moved out. But my mother still went to my grandmother’s house to shout at her.

My grandmother’s health has become terribly bad, and she has a lot of diseases. My husband and I feel bad for her, so we brought her to our house to take care of her and help her with treatments.

My mother was diagnosed with cancer some time ago. She called us and asked us to give her money so that she can have cancer treatment. My older sister and younger brother are not well-off, so they cannot give her money.

Meanwhile, I also quit my job recently as my workload was too hard, and my husband is having to carry all five of us, including my grandmother, our kids, me, and himself. I have some savings, but if I give it to her, then my family will suffer financially.

But I will feel bad if I do not help my mother. What should I do?

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