I’m from northern Ninh Binh province while my husband comes from a family in the old quarter of Hanoi. We met each other when both of us attended the National Economics University, one of the most prestigious universities in Vietnam.
My in-laws have been looking down on me for my background since we started dating. They only let us get married when I got pregnant. We have been married for seven years and we now have two kids.
I think of myself as a hardworking woman. My current monthly salary is VND25 million ($1,000), and my income is even higher if I do another part-time job.
In comparison, my husband’s career is not that smooth. His first occupation after graduation paid him only VND3 million a month. He could have earned more than that if he made use of the connections he had and took care of the customers on his own, but he did not do so. He eventually grew discouraged and quit after two years.
He has done several different jobs since then, from a call center agent to an insurance sales agent, but he quit all of them after a short period. He ended up working as a security guard at an office tower.
He never helps me with household chores. He often plays video games or sleeps when he is not at work, while I’m busy with countless tasks from earning money to taking care of our kids and doing research about schools to send the kids to. I complain to him sometimes, asking why a top university graduate like him is working as a security guard, to which he tells me that he will change his job soon.
But I’m afraid that the longer he stays with this job, the more hesitant he is to step outside and apply for another occupation. I think he cannot set a good example for our kids as well.
At the same time, my relationship with my in-laws has not improved either.
I thought about divorce, but I’m not motivated enough since I have spent all my youth with him.
What should I do?