My mother-in-law insists working husband is exempt from household chores

By Mai Lien   April 1, 2024 | 05:50 pm PT
My mother-in-law firmly believes that since my husband works, he shouldn't have to take on household chores.

Throughout our seven-year marriage, my husband and I have raised a son and a daughter, both of whom are exceptionally well-mannered.

My earnings amount to approximately VND20 million (US$806) monthly, whereas my husband's income ranges from VND12-15 million. However, he contributes only VND4 million towards our monthly expenditures, reserving the remainder for his personal use and savings.

Summarizing our personalities, I am industrious both in my professional and domestic life, always maintaining our home in immaculate condition. My husband, while mild-mannered, has habits of smoking and drinking and exhibits a marked indifference towards me. Since our marriage, he has never given me a present. Meanwhile, the house we live in was constructed on a plot of land gifted by my parents.

Over the years, I have single-handedly managed the household and cared for our children after work, particularly when they fall ill, resulting in a stronger bond with them as they seldom show affection towards their father.

Therefore, prior to the commencement of the Tet Lunar New Year holiday in February, I expressed my exhaustion and dissatisfaction with my husband's domineering attitude, as he spends his post-work hours lying down and browsing his phone, offering no assistance whatsoever.

I thus declared my desire for a divorce, a sentiment I have voiced for years, only to be met with apathy and no change in his behavior. I warned that if he does not alter his ways, I would pursue a divorce and dedicate my life to our children.

My husband subsequently disclosed all the text messages to his parents. My mother-in-law then berated me harshly, asserting that my husband's job means I should not involve him in household duties. She bluntly advised me to proceed with the divorce if that was my wish, further commenting that my husband is a gentle person and accusing me of bullying him based on his several defenses of me in her presence over the past years.

What should I do now? Should I pursue a divorce from my husband?

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