My girlfriend thinks I'm too calculating when I ask to share cost of eating out

By Phong   January 17, 2023 | 08:43 pm PT
I and my girlfriend have been together for more than a year. In the beginning expenses, I usually pay all the whenever we ate out.

I feel that as a man, it's normal to pay for both of our eating-out expenses, especially because she didn't have a job back then. Half a year later, I helped her find a job. In our relationship, I wish she could at least contribute a part of the cost of eating out, especially since I already cover a significant portion of her living expenses.

In the past few months, I have worked overtime a lot to have some extra money. Earning money is not easy for me. Recently, I asked her to share some of the eating-out costs since I need some savings at this time.

She seemed unhappy at first since I had always initiated paying for meals. Afterward, she was annoyed and said that I was stingy and too calculating toward her.

I think sharing living costs are quite important in a relationship. Meanwhile, she accused me of changing and wondered why I asked to share now and not at the beginning of the relationship. Conflicts like this, combined with differences in communication styles, have created strains in our relationship.

Though I didn't want to be too direct about my contributions in our relationship, her disrespectful words and actions made me feel like I had to. The more I talk, the more she thinks I am too calculating.

She thinks that if we get married, I would not be able to care for her. She assumes that it's the man's job to take care of all the bills. That's how she thinks about marriage.

I feel very stressed about this relationship. What should I do, dear readers?

go to top