My fiance is too tight with money

By Thao   July 21, 2023 | 07:00 pm PT
My boyfriend and I are preparing for our wedding at the end of this year, but we often get into arguments about it.

We dated for two years before deciding to tie the knot, including one year as long-distance as he had to complete his education in Singapore. We have a lot of things in common, from our family background to hobbies like listening to music, watching movies, and working.

I have always known that he is practical. For example, he allows us to go to the cinema twice a month, shopping once a month, and eat out at restaurants once a week only.

If we meet more than that in the month, we stroll around without spending money on anything, including snacks or drinks.

I thought this was acceptable and have not asked for anything more from him.

However, this practical side of him has caused us a lot of trouble recently when we were preparing for our wedding. We both come from wealthy families, so my parents wanted to spend over VND30 million ($1,270) buying a wedding dress for me, which my boyfriend disapproved of.

He said our budget for my wedding dress was under VND15 million, so I could rent one and we could spend the rest of the money on other things.

I did not agree. In my opinion, wedding ceremonies are something we experience once in our lifetime, so there is no need to calculate too carefully.

Another among our arguments came from my wish to take a two-day trip to the coastal city of Da Nang and Hoi An Ancient Town to shoot our wedding photos, which my boyfriend turned down because, again, he thought it was a waste of money.

He was also against me when I said I wanted to hold two wedding parties, like my friends have done: one formal ceremony in which guests are relatives and our parents’ connections, and one outdoor intimate one in which guests are our close friends and coworkers.

It seems like we haven’t reached any agreement on anything since we started to plan our wedding.

I’m really tired and have even thought about cancelling the marriage due to differences in our perspectives.

What should I do? Can anyone, especially those who are married, give me advice?

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