I’m growing more insecure as my boyfriend becomes more successful

By Thuy Huong   October 23, 2023 | 07:58 pm PT
I am wondering whether my boyfriend still loves me and if he thinks I’m more competent than him anymore.

I’m 30, my boyfriend is 27, and we started dating four years ago. We met each other when we were working for the same company.

I have been considered a careful woman who always tries my best and has good expertise in my profession. In fact, my boyfriend once told me he fell for me because of that.

At the same time, I thought of him as someone who was sensitive and clever, though he seemed not to want to put all his effort into his job. He said I overestimated him when I told him though.

In compensation, my boyfriend knew how to keep the boundaries with other women though he treated everyone gently, which assured me a lot and played an important role in motivating me to date him.

My boyfriend quit and started working at another company two years ago. He was recently promoted to the deputy head of his department, becoming the youngest employee in his company ever appointed to that position. I am sure that he achieved it because of his competence, since he hates flattering and rarely socializes with his current coworkers.

Thinking about that, I think he was doing his job at a lower level than he could when we were working for the same company. Honestly speaking, there were projects in which he contributed more than I did, but he let me act as the one in charge of the project and receive all the praise and promotion opportunities.

He started revealing more knowledge after he moved to his current workplace, perhaps because he did not have to be my shadow anymore. On the one hand, I think his job change was the right decision as it gave him the chance to show his true self. On the other hand, I’m worried that he might run out of love for me one day if he does not think I’m better than him anymore, as he fell for me because of my ability.

The fact that he frequently goes on business trips lately has also made me grow even more insecure, as I’m afraid that he will meet excellent new female colleagues or partners.

He has not shown any sign of having an affair or anything though, and he even offered that I could join him on his business trips, which I turned down as I could not arrange my schedule accordingly.

What should I do?

go to top