I have everything. So why does my life feel meaningless?

By Kien   February 9, 2023 | 07:15 pm PT
In the past month, I had little to no contact with other people, which made me realize how meaningless and unhappy my life is.

I’m over 30 and work as a freelancer with a good salary, enough to pay for all my living expenses and personal interests. I’m an educated person with a basic knowledge about society, I speak a few foreign languages and have some talents such as singing, playing sports and cooking. People have said that I’m very good-looking, one of the most handsome men even.

I have no problems with my communication skills, as I can converse with just about anyone, such as entrepreneurs, construction workers, drivers, and intellectuals. My biggest problem is how independent I am. I am considered a devoted friend but I would only interact with my friends if needed.

Normally, I would not go out of my way to randomly chat with other people, so I basically have no friends. It’s not because they don’t want to talk to me, it’s more because I don’t want to confide in anyone. I’m not an emotionally dry person, but I’m rather impatient in romantic relationships.

Maybe it’s because I’m handsome that women come easily to me. Nearly all of them like me when they meet me, but I don’t have feelings for anyone.

Recently, because of life and work, I barely interacted with anyone for about a month. I realized that my life is truly meaningless, and I’m unhappy and out of sorts. I am easily influenced by negative emotions and even thought of death.

I thought about explaining to my parents about how lonely I am and how meaningless it would be to continue living like this. I just hope that my family and loved ones will forgive me if I ever decide to leave this world.

I once thought that moving to another city or a different environment would help me and I did that, but then I realized that it all came down to the matter of my personality, and not my living environment. I considered changing myself, going outside more and making more friends, but the truth is that a leopard cannot change its spots.

I’ve caught myself wondering how I’m going to end my life to make things the easiest for those surrounding me and for my loved ones. An accident maybe? I hope to share my thoughts and to receive feedback from psychiatrists and everyone. Sincere thanks.

Advice from psychologist Vu Hue:

Hi Kien,

What I have gathered from your letter is that you are a knowledgeable man, know a few languages, work as a flexible freelancer, have enough financial resources, possess some talents, have the ability to interact with everyone and have very good looks. These are all strengths and should be something you’re proud of, as they are things not everyone has.

Recently, because of issues concerning work and life, you barely had contact with anyone for roughly one month. I’m not sure if not going outside and a lack of interaction with other people are a result of your work or because of something else.

Humans are not machines. No matter how good machines are, they also need to rest and undergo maintenance. Therefore, no matter how busy you are, or how stressful your work is, you need to develop a healthy lifestyle to reset your mind and body.

Perhaps your lack of contact with others triggered your loneliness and gave you negative thoughts. I want you to answer three questions:

1. You have thought of ending your life in a way that makes it the easiest for those you’ll leave behind. Is this your number one concern?

2. What is something you want to do most before leaving this world?

3. Everything can go perfectly according to plan with no room for errors, but if there is something that prevents you from dying and from living life to the fullest, then what happens next? When you think about this, ending your own life is never a solution, but a way to run away that leaves grave consequences behind.

It is true that feeling unhappy and having no purpose in life can make people think of negative thoughts, but I believe you have all the tools to become happy and give meaning to your own life. It’s just that you haven’t found the right way yet.

You have tried to improve your life by moving to a different city, to a different environment, but you still haven’t changed. You need a companion that can give you advice, who you should meet in person. This is also a reason for you to go outside. They will help you emotionally, and help you execute your plan to beat loneliness.

You are a capable person with perhaps a lot of relationships, but it seems that you’re missing actually meaningful ones in both friendships and relationships. You don’t want to confide in anyone? What makes you feel like that? It seems that no one has been able to touch your soul so that you can confide in them?

You should open up your heart and give others the opportunity to understand you. There will be someone out there that makes you want to open up and be vulnerable with that person.

You consider yourself to be impatient in love, and that girls come easily to you? Is it because you think they like you because of your appearance and your job instead of who you actually are? Please challenge your own mindset and think differently.

If you refuse to open up your heart and allow others to have a chance to get to know you, finding true love will be much more difficult. Maybe you have finally understood that sometimes love is extremely strange. There could be love at first sight, but sometimes, people have to go through many trials to realize that they truly love each other.

The fact that you chose to share your thoughts here is proof that you are slowly baring your own soul. Please welcome the love of your life by continuing to bare your heart and soul. You will definitely find someone that makes you miss them, love them and worry about them.

I hope you stay strong and conquer your obstacles.

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