I feel anxious as my husband suggests we live with his parents

By Phuong Lien   April 25, 2024 | 03:01 pm PT
Although my parents-in-law’s home offers plenty of space, I’m concerned about the potential challenges due to my mother-in-law’s difficult temperament.

My husband and I tied the knot four years ago, each having been previously married once, and now enjoy a happy life together. Along with our mutual child, my child from a former relationship also resides with us, and my husband’s child from his past marriage lives with his ex-wife, whom we support financially every month.

My father-in-law was diagnosed with end-stage cancer earlier this year. As my in-laws live on their own, my husband has been staying with them to assist his father, who is unable to sit up, walk, or use the bathroom independently. Each day, I also rush from work to their house to prepare meals before heading back to care for our two children once our babysitter leaves at 6:30 p.m.

Although my husband isn’t an only child, his siblings reside in another province and can only visit on weekends. Consequently, my husband proposes that we both move in with his parents to better support them.

Yet, due to my child from a previous relationship, living together would be challenging. Moreover, my aging mother-in-law, who grows frailer and more demanding, frequently offers unsolicited advice. Whenever disagreements arise between my husband and me, she invariably sides with him, regardless of the merits of the situation. As someone who is quick-tempered, I’m apprehensive about potential conflicts if we move in.

Thus, while I deeply love and respect my husband, I prefer to live with his parents only temporarily to assist during his father’s illness, with plans to return to our home after his passing. Nonetheless, the thought of leaving my mother-in-law alone after her husband’s death is also troubling.

What would you do in my situation?

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