I don’t know why I haven’t divorced my husband

By Trung Hieu   April 28, 2023 | 03:00 pm PT
I am 28 years old, currently working with my husband far away from home, so our kids have been sent back to live with their grandparents.

Back when we first met, he loved and cherished me, he never smoked or played around.

When we finally moved in together, my husband’s true self became apparent, and I was shocked. I make VND50 million ($2,130) each month and I send back all my spare income, not counting daily spending, to my mother for safekeeping, as well as contributing towards taking care of my kids. I do this because I can't bring myself to trust my husband with that amount of money.

I’ve been with him for four years, and three of those he has wasted money gambling, buying lottery tickets, and burning as much money as he makes. There are nights when I had to find and stop him from going any further, yet he’s still given in, accruing more and more debts.

He said he’ll change for the better, so I trusted him. We both started over again from scratch. I asked for loans and used my salary to pay his debts. Little did I know, I was being fooled by my husband. The very next day, I saw him gambling again - I felt terrible.

And not just that. My husband is also a lazy bum, who never helps with housework. I work late and still have to cook and clean by myself. He’s the one who comes back home early, yet only lies there fiddling with his phone and smoking, leaving ashes everywhere.

His clothes are strewn all over the house, waiting for me to pick them up. Tired and angry are the two constant emotions I feel whenever I return to my messy home.

On some days, I come back home from work to an empty house - my husband left to hang out with his friends. Every time, he comes back late and still demands that I prepare dinner for him.

He’s an uncaring man, and every day that passes, we become more like strangers to each other. Every text and every call goes unanswered. Sometimes, I have to work overtime, yet not a single call from him about how I’m doing. Even when I’m sick, no one is there to care for me.

On days like Women’s Day, I never get any good wishes. Even on my birthdays, he goes out and plays chess with friends all night long.

I don’t know what’s keeping me tethered to him like this. I yearn to wake up from this nightmare, so why am I still stuck in it?

I hope you can give me some advice on how to better my life.

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