How can I make my wife love me again and forget about her affair?

By Hoang Nam   June 14, 2023 | 03:00 pm PT
We had been married for nearly nine years, and my wife once loved me with a burning passion. I depended on her love a lot.

During our years together, we had a happy family that many admired and looked up to. Because of that, I was complacent and neglected her feelings. The turbulence in our marriage began when she turned 36. She started taking advanced training courses while I continued to take care of our family as usual.

I sensed a change in my wife but I was complacent because I had complete trust in her. About six months ago, she became distant and though I started to suspect things, I didn't take decisive action because I still loved and trusted her.

Then, four months ago, she told me she no longer had any feelings for me. A rope tightened around my heart, I couldn't believe what she said. Reflecting on the situation, I realized that I had been complacent and neglectful in nurturing our family's happiness. I decided to change. My wife acknowledged my feelings at that time, but I felt it was only her testing me.

During that dark period, my wife set a password for text messages with a male classmate. I had my suspicions, but I dismissed the thought that my wife could ever do such a thing.

However, fate had its way.

About a week later, I discovered the birthday of the male friend and tried it as the password for my wife's hidden messages. It worked. I felt as if my world collapsed before my eyes. I would have preferred catching my wife having an affair at a hotel rather than reading those messages.

I was devastated. My wife showered after returning from a long trip, then I remained silent as she peacefully fell asleep. Silently, I logged into her chat on the computer to learn more about this illicit affair.

Their love was passionate and they vowed to be together for eternity. I was stunned. I couldn’t believe my own eyes. How could my dignified, virtuous wife, whom everyone respected, turn out like this?

I decided to safeguard our family's happiness, but I didn’t know how to ensure that my wife would never find out I had discovered the truth, and that she wouldn't live in regret with me for the rest of her life.

Their love was truly deep. I considered various options and sought advice from experts online to find a solution, so that I wouldn't have any regrets. I chose to remain silent and let time be the judge, hoping my wife would come to her senses and return to our family. As for myself, I made an effort to care for her more.

However, in practice, the loving messages they exchanged kept pouring out on the computer, and my heart couldn't bear it. I decided to confront her about it and she decided to choose our family and cut off contact with that man.

I still love my wife and am willing to overlook everything, but I feel she hasn't been able to forget him. It seems she is living for the family and our two children, and she still cares for me, but I can no longer feel any love from her.

The question arises: What should I do to make my wife love me again, to truly make her happy and forget about her torrid affair?

I hope to receive good advice from readers.

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