Vietnamese family gives up life in Europe to rediscover roots

It was the summer of 2023, and they were greeted by a torrential downpour followed by blazing sunshine, an unfamiliar experience for a family accustomed to Denmark's cold climate.

"A strange but stimulating feeling came over all of us," Mai, 28, recalls.

"The rain stirred memories of my childhood when my mother would take me to visit my grandparents in Thu Thiem, and my siblings and I would run out into the yard to bathe in the rain. Even now I'm unsure whether this 'crazy journey' is for my children or for me."

Mai and Michael, both of Vietnamese descent, made what they called a 'reckless' decision to give up the comforts of life in Europe and return to Vietnam, determined to have their children grow up connected to their cultural roots.

Mai Nguyen, 28, and her husband Michael, 30, with their three children in HCMC, October 2023. Photo provided by the family

They couple first met in 2013 and now have three children. Mi was born in 2019, An in 2020 and Bao in 2022. They had enjoyed a comfortable life in Denmark, where citizens get free healthcare and education up to the master's level.

Each of their children received 1,000 kroner (about US$95.51) per month until they turned 18. Mai was finishing a master’s degree in human resources management when they decided to return to Vietnam, while Michael holds degrees in business and design.

Despite their comfortable life, the children grew increasingly curious about their heritage as they became more aware of the world around them. Mi, their oldest, would ask for instance: "Why is my hair black? I want blonde hair like my friends."

Explaining race and ethnicity to her was challenging. More troubling for Mai was her children's lack of connection with their grandparents due to the language barrier.

They would often exclaim to her: "I don't understand grandma. Mum, ask her to speak Danish."

The couple tried teaching them Vietnamese at home, but the children's frustration soon made them realize they lacked the fluency, cultural understanding or patience for it. Seeking another approach, they made a two-month trip to Vietnam after Mai's graduation in June 2023 to expose the children to the language. But they quickly realized that such a brief visit would not resolve the deeper issues.

After careful consideration, they decided to move to Vietnam for good despite knowing they would lose the Danish government's benefits for them and their three young children.

But it was now or never.

"Childhood passes quickly, and the older they get, the harder it will be to teach them about their roots," Michael explains.

"This was the best time for our children to learn about their heritage."

They sold their house, car and other belongings, and on June 25, 2023, boarded a flight to Vietnam, embarking on what many considered a reckless adventure. For the first two months they traveled around Vietnam, visiting Nha Trang, Hoi An and even a number of villages to help their children adjust and avoid a culture shock. They interacted with locals, experienced new foods and slowly adapted to the country’s climate and customs.

Mai and Michael's children, Mi, 5, An, 4, and Bao, 2, in the family's rented apartment in District 2, HCMC. Photo provided by the family

Though Mai and Michael, 30, had visited Vietnam during their childhood and spoke conversational Vietnamese, adjusting to life in the country was challenging.

The high tuition fees at international schools shocked them, and their kids did not qualify for admission to public schools. By Tet (Vietnamese New Year) in February 2024 they had found a private school that provided bilingual education in Vietnamese and English.

At first their children struggled at school, often crying because no one spoke Danish. Mai and Michael worried, picking them up early in the afternoon every day. Fortunately, by the second month, the children had begun to integrate, sometimes even refusing to leave because they were enjoying their time with friends.

Finding jobs proved harder. Mai once accepted an internship at a Danish company for VND2 million (US$80.50) a month, barely enough to cover transportation costs between their apartment in District 2 and her office in District 1. Later she landed a managerial job that paid VND60 million, but paperwork issues reduced it to VND8 million without insurance or a visa. She quit after a month.

"I’m still trying to find a job that fits my schedule as a mother of three," she says.

Despite the challenges, their 14 months in Vietnam have been enriching. In Denmark, they lived in an apartment with a small patch of grass for a backyard. In HCMC their apartment complex has four swimming pools and the rent is VND16 million, a deal unmatched in Denmark, they say.

Mai enjoys the convenience of ordering food from a local vendor or having it delivered to her door with just a message. They love the vibrant energy of the city and its lower cost of living than Denmark. They also prefer commuting by motorbike rather than car.

Vietnamese cuisine has broadened their children's palates, introducing them to new flavors. The couple's rule is simple: the kids must try everything before deciding if they like it. Now, their children have grown accustomed to all sorts of foods and delicacies. Their eldest loves raw tomatoes and noodles, the second is obsessed with durian and the youngest eats anything as long as it is Vietnamese.

The most rewarding aspect for Mai and Michael has been witnessing their children’s progress in Vietnamese. The five- and four-year-olds can now count to 100 in Vietnamese and converse with their grandparents. Recently their eldest proudly spelled out words like be (small), ca (fish) and bong (ball) to applause from her grandparents.

Mi, An, and Bao pose for a photo during Vietnamese New Year 2024. Photo provided by the family

"After a year our children’s progress in Vietnamese confirms our decision was the right one," Michael says.

He adds that this journey would not only help the children understand their roots and navigate cultural differences but also develop their skills, give them some unforgettable childhood memories and strengthen family bonds.

On Aug. 24 the family gathered around a birthday cake to celebrate their second daughter’s fourth birthday.

Two of An’s birthdays have now been celebrated in Vietnam.

As they realized this, Mai and Michael exchanged knowing smiles, recalling an agreement they had made.

"We agreed that if either of us ever wanted to go back to Denmark, we would, no questions asked," Mai reveals.

"But after 14 months it hasn't once crossed our minds."

 

 

Vietnamese family gives up life in Europe to rediscover roots

Mẹ Việt kiều bán tất cả, đưa 3 con về Việt Nam