Chinese-American man finds his dream wife during trip to Hanoi

They met through a dating app when Yang traveled to Hanoi for a friend's wedding in late 2022. The couple arranged to meet at a shopping center, but Yang went to the wrong location, causing him to be nearly an hour late. Despite the delay, Lan greeted him with a gentle smile. Though it was their first meeting they quickly connected over shared interests such as a love for animals, travel and food exploration.

"She was as gentle as the dream woman I had been looking for," the IT engineer from Colorado, the U.S., says

What left a lasting impression on Lan was the image of a kind-hearted, gallant, and masculine Chinese-American man. "He has smiling eyes," the multinational IT worker shares.

Yang took Lan to a pet cafe in Thailand at the beginning of 2023. Photo courtesy of the couple

As fate would have it, they both happened to celebrate New Year's Eve in Thailand.

During just their second meeting, while having lunch, Yang unexpectedly held Lan’s hand and said: "It might sound crazy since we’ve only known each other for a few days, but I want you to be my girlfriend." She declined, saying they did not know each other well enough. Their connection deepened as they explored Bangkok with friends, and one evening Lan felt comfortable enough to open up about her past heartbreaks and relationships.

"I had never confided in anyone before, not even my best friend, but for some reason, I could share my deepest thoughts with him," she reflects. As she poured out her emotions, tears began to flow. Yang wrapped his arm around her, comforting her: "I'm sorry I arrived too late." A few days earlier he had wanted to win her heart, but at that moment he resolved to pursue her wholeheartedly and protect her.

On their last day in Thailand he invited her to a coffee shop. Once again he expressed his feelings: "I want to make you happy. I want you to be the reason I return to Vietnam. I promise you won’t regret this decision." She recalls how she initially rejected him, thinking she was at an age to settle down and did not want to waste time on a long-distance relationship with someone in another country.

 

 

Chinese-American man finds his dream wife during trip to Hanoi

Kỹ sư IT tìm được cô gái trong mơ khi tới Việt Nam

"But I took a gamble on him on a relationship that had only begun a few days earlier."

After agreeing to the relationship, Lan returned to Vietnam while Yang continued to travel around Southeast Asia. That weekend he surprised her by returning to Hanoi and taking her to Malaysia to see a Van Gogh art exhibition. After the trip he joined her in her hometown for Lunar New Year.

It was the first time she introduced a boyfriend to her family, friends or social media. "I was also the first girl he introduced to his parents," she says. After spending nearly two months together the time came for Yang to return to the U.S.

They set some conditions for themselves to keep the relationship smooth: Lan wanted to hear loving words daily and preferred calling to texting. Yang prioritized effective communication and respect. They agreed to never abruptly hang up during an argument. Despite living 13,000 kilometers apart, they managed to go on virtual dates.

Yang proposed to Lan in Thailand, November 2023. Photo courtesy of the couple

Lan took up cooking, makeup and regular exercise. She worked constantly on improving her English. She also decided to communicate her thoughts openly instead of leaving her partner to guess them.

"I believe men also need compliments, not just women," she says, explaining how she learned many English phrases to show her appreciation for him.

Though their relationship was smooth overall, cultural differences occasionally led to misunderstandings. Once she saved his photo with a pig emoji, thinking it was cute, but he was upset, believing she was calling him fat. Another time he grew frustrated when Lan was late for a virtual date. The tension escalated when she argued that in Vietnam it is normal for men to wait for their girlfriends. Later she acknowledged that her habit of being late was a cultural difference they needed to address, and he apologized for losing his temper.

From then on, they discussed which situations required punctuality and which could be more flexible.

"To love someone from another country requires not only understanding and patience but also letting go of your ego and being open to different perspectives," Lan says.

Lan and Yang at a celebration dinner in a Colorado restaurant, U.S., after receiving their marriage certificate in April 2024. Photo courtesy of the couple

Her gentle love helped Yang grow as a person, and he helped her rediscover her true self. She used to enjoy dyeing her hair and wearing figure-hugging clothes, something that people warned might draw the wrong kind of attention. In the time before she met Yang,she had her hair dyed a darker color and dressed in a way that was expected of a "good girl."

"When he saw me he asked why I had made a 180-degree change in my style, and encouraged me to live authentically. "Now, I only care about looking beautiful in his eyes."

In November 2023, knowing that Lan loved looking at the night sky, he flew to Vietnam and took her to the Yi Peng Lantern Festival in Chiang Mai, Thailand. The next day, with the help of friends, he staged a photoshoot where Lan posed as a model. During the shoot she raised her hand for a particular pose when he kneeled down and proposed.

"I knew you were the one from the first time we met. The more time we spend together the more I want to be with you forever. And today I want to ask: Will you marry me?" Lan was taken by surprise but nodded happily.

After their engagement they returned to Vietnam and then traveled to China to inform both families and prepare for the visa process ahead of their reunion in the U.S. In April 2024 they received their marriage certificate in the U.S., and are now preparing for their wedding in Da Nang next April. "Before meeting her my goal was to explore the world. But after falling in love, I wanted her to see the world with me," he says.