Out of 10 women I meet, nine ask how much I earn

I’m a 39-year-old man working in the business sector at an interior company in Hanoi. I’ve lived here for 15 years, but my love life remains stagnant. Since 2017, I’ve used dating apps, met many people, and gone on countless coffee dates or shared meals, but nothing ever developed beyond that.

Almost every woman I meet says her ideal boyfriend must own a house in Hanoi or, at the very least, have plans to buy one. They also insist they won’t settle in the countryside. This mindset holds even for women who left me stunned when I saw how they looked in person compared to their online photos. The others come from wealthy families, which often makes me feel inferior because my family is from a rural area and is not affluent.

In January, when I went back to my hometown for Tet Lunar New Year, my cousin’s husband suggested I return there to make it easier to find someone to marry. But I don’t really get along with my family, so I feel like a stranger there, which is why I don’t visit often, let alone want to live with them.

Now, I’m torn between two options: if I focus on earning money to become wealthy and only marry afterward, I’ll probably be much older by the time that happens. But women today are very practical, making it difficult to find someone who truly loves me if I try to balance becoming wealthy and finding someone to marry. I just want things to be simple, like they were in the ‘70s, ‘80s, and ‘90s, when couples worked hard together. But it feels almost impossible now.

What should I do?