My wife prioritizes her parents over me and our child

I am three years older than my wife. While we share some common traits like compassion and introversion, we are opposites in almost every other way.

I grew up in a poor family, and we only became somewhat comfortable after my parents’ business improved. As a result, I’ve always been frugal. I’m willing to spend on things we need, but I hate wasting even VND1,000 (US$0.04) on unnecessary things.

In contrast, my wife comes from a family that isn’t wealthy nor poor but has always treated her like a treasure. She spends money freely—whether it’s from her parents or her own earnings—without much thought. I feel like money disappears as soon as it lands in her hands.

When I try to talk to her about it, she argues that she doesn’t spend my money and accuses me of being stingy if I give her any. Honestly, I’ve given up trying to change her spending habits.

When it comes to our child, I’m not sure if she genuinely cares for them. She spends most of her time glued to her phone while watching our child and only puts it down when they fall and cry loudly. I don’t feel comfortable leaving our child alone with her.

Additionally, she clings to her parents like a child herself. After work, she never comes straight home, as she always stops by her parents’ house at least once a day. She insists on visiting them even for trivial matters that don’t require her attention, no matter the weather.

When her parents were building their house and had to sleep in a temporary tent in the garden, she cried all night and wanted to stay there with them, despite my parents’ objections. She stayed up the entire night and even took a day off work the next morning to check on them.

At the end of the Covid pandemic, when she was about to give birth, she heard that her mother had injured her leg. Despite my offer to take her mother to the hospital, she rode her motorbike there herself. Even now, she refuses to consider relocating far from her parents, even though she has two older brothers who could care for them.

I’ve come to realize that my wife loves her parents so much that she’s willing to neglect everything else, including me and our child. I’m tired of eating takeout from the market, and I don’t enjoy it when she often takes our child out for meals.

What should I do?