My mother-in-law labels me 'princess-like' for not visiting her during holidays

We have been married for nearly five years. Our families are both loving, appreciate their children and grandchildren, and enjoy family get-togethers. Therefore, generally, for holidays lasting three days or even weekends, we make it a point to visit our hometowns. This practice is well understood by all family members. My husband’s hometown is more than 100 km away from where we currently live.

This year, there was a four-day break for National Day on Sept. 2. Usually, we would head to my husband’s hometown, but this time, I was feeling somewhat tired. Moreover, we had just welcomed our children back from their summer break in the countryside, prompting us to choose to stay home and rest. Another contributing factor is the significant expense incurred each time we visit our families.

After informing my mother-in-law of our decision not to visit, she has remained silent but clearly annoyed. In recent days, she either ignored my calls or had my brother-in-law’s child answer instead.

I spoke with my brother-in-law’s wife, who revealed that my mother-in-law was upset we did not visit despite having the time off. She criticized my husband for prioritizing me and our children over his relatives. She also pointed out that although my husband could have driven me to their home in our car, I had complained of being tired, which she scorned as showing a princess-like attitude.

This has left me feeling saddened. Doesn’t she consider the well-being of her children and grandchildren? Must we always make the journey regardless of our exhaustion? I do not expect her to inquire about my health, rather, I wish for us to interact normally as before, avoiding unnecessary tension so we can unwind without overthinking.

Should I address this issue directly with her, or should I wait for her to gradually come to terms with it?