My mother-in-law adamantly refuses to organize a wedding for us

By Ngoc Hang   June 12, 2024 | 03:08 pm PT
Due to the Covid-19 pandemic, my husband and I initially postponed our wedding, but my mother-in-law now opposes having it, claiming she doesn’t want it to seem like a ploy to collect monetary gifts.

We registered our marriage four years ago and have a four-year-old child. I am also pregnant with our second child.

At times, I’ve considered ending my marriage because my in-laws have not organized a wedding for us, despite my discussions with my husband over the years. Both my parents and siblings view my mother-in-law’s stance as irrational. I also wonder why concerns about outsiders’ opinions should overshadow the respect for my feelings as her daughter-in-law.

Previously, I enjoyed a strong relationship with my in-laws. However, that changed after I insisted on having a wedding. Since then, my mother-in-law has ceased all communication with us, ignoring calls and texts. Moreover, she has neither contacted me to check on my health nor visited since I became pregnant.

I have expressed to my husband that we cannot cohabit like this indefinitely if the wedding does not occur, as it feels like neither my family nor I are respected by his family. I am well-educated, employed, and consider myself to have both good looks and morals, so I see no valid reason to accept this situation.

Additionally, my husband had promised me a wedding before, which led me to stop using birth control pills and get pregnant with our second child. There were moments when I contemplated abortion as a simpler escape from the marriage, but that felt too harsh. I am at my wit’s end, feeling isolated and reluctant to interact with anyone.

You might suggest that I dismiss these thoughts and stay positive for my child and the unborn baby. But I know myself best. Perhaps not immediately, but eventually, I might end the marriage to free myself from these burdensome feelings of injustice and lingering questions.

Is my thinking justified?

go to top