My husband expects me to visit his parents every time I visit mine, despite their distance

We have been married for nearly six years and currently work in Hanoi. We have a child over four years old, and I am pregnant. My in-laws are retired and live more than 100 km from Hanoi, while my parents, who are self-employed, trade in the suburbs, just over 20 km from our home.

My job keeps me busy from 7:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. My husband, who works in the private sector, has more flexible hours but often travels for work or entertains clients on evenings and weekends. Consequently, we employ a part-time housekeeper to assist with cooking and childcare in the evenings.

We visit our parents on some weekends. I frequently visit my parents since they live nearby. My in-laws, living further away, are visited every two or three months, which seems reasonable to me, given my work schedule and need for rest. Additionally, they are retired and can visit us in Hanoi whenever they like, staying a few days before returning. My parents, busy with their business and affected by my mother’s car sickness, visit us less often, except when my child is sick and my mother comes to assist.

However, my husband always wants us to visit his parents the week after we visit mine, which feels like he’s keeping score. If I object, he accuses me of favoring my parents, leading to exhausting arguments. My in-laws add pressure by reminding him to arrange visits whenever they see us with my parents or by complaining of ailments to prompt a visit, even though I am pregnant and very tired.

This situation is wearing me out. I am concerned about balancing work, family, and finances, and wish we could relax at home on weekends, but my husband and in-laws are not understanding. Considering my in-laws just visited a few days ago, I feel overwhelmed by the constant pressure to visit.

How can I address this ongoing conflict, which is really disheartening?