My husband criticizes me for not getting up at 5 am to do house chores

I'm 30, and my husband is over 10 years older. We've been married for seven years and have a daughter in first grade. I earn VND20 million (US$803) monthly, and my husband, who earns VND30 million, gives me VND22 million for family expenses. While it appears we have it all, our marriage has its challenges.

My husband insists I wake up at 5 a.m. to clean the house, comparing me to his mother, who is a diligent housewife. Yet, he sleeps in until 9 a.m. on weekends. Although he loves our daughter and consistently provides for us, he's authoritarian, emotionally distant, and difficult to please. He's strict with everyone, including me, and criticizes even small things, like how I set the table. He often dismisses my suggestions, believing he's always right.

He also shows disrespect towards my parents, not opening the gate for my mother when she visits and sometimes avoiding her altogether. He behaves similarly with his own parents, engaging with them only when he's in a good mood. Despite my efforts to discuss this, nothing changes.

Our marriage was happy in the first two years, but after our child was born, I took on most of the parenting responsibilities while my husband continued his social life. He even returned to drinking after a brief attempt to quit following a health scare. Over time, our relationship became distant, and we've slept in separate beds since our child was one year old. There's no affection or emotional connection, and sometimes we don't speak for days.

My husband isn't having an affair, nor is he gay, but his lack of intimacy has left me feeling lonely. I've tried to create a lively family atmosphere, suggesting outings, but he always claims he's too tired and encourages me to go out with our daughter alone. I've become used to handling everything myself, but it feels isolating.

My husband's main complaint is that I'm lazy, although I manage all household chores, cooking, and childcare. He compares me to his mother, who dedicates herself to serving her husband, but I can't live that way. I believe in equality in the household and want to raise our daughter with those values.

Despite our issues, my husband acknowledges I'm a good person and admits that if we get divorced, I would easily find a new partner while he wouldn't. However, he still refuses to change. He insists on raising our child if we separate, which I don't want to contest because I know he loves her.

I've confided in friends, receiving mixed advice: one suggested I endure it for the sake of stability, while the other urged me to consider my happiness. I love my husband, but his refusal to change leaves me feeling very lonely. I also worry about our daughter's well-being and the impact on her if we separate. I'm unsure what to do next and would appreciate any advice. Thank you.