Mother-in-law demands return of 4 out of 5 taels of gold gifted to bride at wedding

This woman explained that she had a younger son who was still unmarried, and the gold would be needed for his future wedding. The demand led to resentment between the mother- and daughter-in-law, all for the sake of appearances without any lasting benefit.

The practice of giving gold to newlyweds at weddings has recently sparked debate. Illustration photo by Pexels

In recent years, weddings in my hometown increasingly include a "ceremony" where relatives and friends present gold as gifts to the bride and groom.

The event’s host typically announces the gift-givers, saying things like "Please welcome the bride’s mother, who will present three taels of gold, including necklaces, rings, bracelets, and a chain...to the bride," or "Let’s welcome the bride’s aunt, who will give a wedding gift to her niece...."

Below the stage, besides the professional photographers and videographers documenting the event, dozens of guests film and snap photos of the gesture to post on social media instantly.

Some may argue: "If they can afford it, what’s the problem?" But if it were that simple, I wouldn’t be writing this. A "pretentious" trend has emerged in Vietnam, where people give extravagant wedding gifts that exceed their financial capabilities.

I know of another case involving two brothers. When the elder brother got married, it was the family’s first wedding, and the mother-in-law went all out with her gifts. Just months later, the younger brother also planned to marry, but when he asked his mother about her plans for his wedding gift, she retorted: "I just married off your brother, our family has no more money. I can only afford a pair of earrings and a small necklace."

Nearby, a young couple in my neighborhood, who both work in a local industrial zone, saved diligently for their wedding. They spent all their savings on gold jewelry to proudly display on their big day. But after the wedding, they had to sell the gold quickly to cover the event’s expenses. Jewelry bought at a high price and sold immediately must have incurred a loss, judging by their expressions afterward.

Now in an even tougher position, they need capital for a small business. Yet when they ask to borrow money, people respond: "Didn’t you have a lot of gold at the wedding? Use that as your business capital."

In Western countries, weddings are often simpler affairs, but many Vietnamese reject such simplicity, citing cultural and lifestyle differences. I don’t disagree with this, but if simplicity isn’t acceptable, then excessiveness isn’t the answer either. Organizing within your means and living responsibly is reasonable, in my opinion.

What do you think about this issue?