Money lent to friends is often impossible to reclaim

How do I collect debts from friends without losing the relationship? This is a question that has been bothering me throughout the past week.

I am not a rich person, but whenever friends or relatives ask to borrow money, I am very willing to lend it to them because I believe that you should not hesitate or contemplate when a friend is in need.

As the Lunar New Year approaches and I need money to pay for some expenses, I asked some friends who borrowed money from me six months ago to pay me back.

Among those people, few replied to my texts and most of them are trying to postpone repaying the debt.

Now I understand what people mean when they say they never lend money to friends and acquaintances.

Reader Tong Ma Khoa

These are comments by other readers about the story:

Reader hoanghonmaudo2016:

"I only lend to friends if I have some spare money that I will not use in a long time.

For loans under VND5 million, the borrower can pay back whenever they have it and I will not rush them.

For those more than VND5 million, it must be repaid on time or within two or three months after the due date, depending on the amount borrowed.

Anyone who betrays my trust by not paying on time will never get money from me again.

Earning money is not easy, so you must consider the borrower's background, the purpose of the loan, and how much should be given.

If the loan seems too risky, you should tactfully refuse from the start.

Lending money to gamblers is basically giving them a handout because they will not pay it back.

On the other hand, lending money to severely ill people when they are financially depleted should just be seen as doing a good deed instead of a loan."

Reader HUYNH MAI:

"If you have spare money, you do you, but if not, then do not force yourself to give your friends money, and absolutely do not take out a loan on their behalf.

For first-time borrowers, only lend from VND1 million to VND5 million.

Always consider the money as lost, but still ask them about payment.

There is no need to rush or constantly remind them of the debt as good friends will pay back as soon as they can.

If they pay you on time, you can consider lending them money again in the future. If they pay you late, then lend them less next time.

If they do not pay back, consider it a gift, and the next time they ask for money, just ask straightforwardly about the first loan.

At that point, they should feel embarrassed, not you.

Remember that they are the ones who ruined the relationship, not you. You helped a friend in need and should not feel ashamed or guilty."

Reader ctvhunghg:

"I am just an online English teacher and some of my students would ask to delay paying tuition.

Because it is an online course with students from all over the country, the fees are usually collected before the course starts.

Usually, students do pay me back afterward but there are also some who do not pay the fees and avoid the topic when asked.

One even blamed me for rushing them even though the course was nearly finished.

After that, I no longer allow late tuition payments, and only a small portion of it instead of the full amount.

As for friends and acquaintances, I only lend an amount that would not affect me if it was unpaid because I know for sure that the chance of them repaying it is almost 0%."

Have you ever been able to collect money lent to friends or acquaintances?

*These comments were translated into English by AI. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.