I can't get my parents-in-laws to give their inheritance early

March 21, 2024 | 03:00 pm PT
I can't get my parents-in-laws to give their inheritance early
Houses in the countryside. Illustration photo by Pixabay
My in-laws wanted my husband and I to permanently move to the countryside and take care of their house, but they refused to transfer the property to us early.

My husband is the youngest son in his family. His parents have five children, all of whom live separately.

His parents are currently living in the countryside. They say that after they pass away, they will leave their house to me and my husband to live in and take care of. However, we cannot sell or give it to anyone else.

Even though his siblings each have their own houses, they live close to their parents so they can visit frequently.

My husband and I are living in the city and only visit his parents on weekends. Despite living far away and having his own family with two young children, my husband is very caring of his parents.

Whenever they go to the city for medical check-ups or need to stay in the hospital, my husband would always visit and take care of them even after a long day at work.

As for me, I have to take care of our two young children at home because we live with my parents. My parents are 80 years old and I am the only one here to take care of them, so it is convenient for us to live together.

Both of our families agreed that once my parents passed away, my husband, our children, and I would move to the countryside to live with my in-laws.

However, I have issues with my husband's siblings. They know that their parents’ house will be given to us, and since properties are valuable now, they are not happy about it.

Every time there's a gathering or a family event, my sister-in-law would always declare: "This house belongs to our ancestors, no one should have their names on it so if anyone struggles in the future, they can come back to live here."

The thing is, when my husband and I move back to the countryside, we will be responsible for taking care of the house, which includes performing traditional anniversaries to honor the ancestral spirits.

So, why should his parents not leave the house to us? While they are alive, anyone can still visit because it is their home. But when his parents pass away, we will be the ones to manage everything, so it does not make sense for my sister-in-law's family to insist on living there by that point.

If anyone wants to live there, they are welcome to do so as long as they also take care of the house and the ancestral altars.

However, what my sister-in-law wants is the house minus the responsibilities. In other words, she wants to have her cake and eat it too.

Right now, while my parents-in-law are alive, the siblings still respect us to some extent. But if the house ownership is not clearly defined, we will surely face troubles in the future.

In fact, my parents-in-law have already divided and transferred all their land to their children in the past so everyone has their share. Now, only this countryside home remains under their name, so their children should not ask for a share if their parents do not want to give it to them.

We do not want to be too pushy with them while they are still alive, but without an official ownership transfer, we do not feel safe around my sister-in-law.

I once told my mother-in-law that my husband and I do not care who she give the house to, but if she wants us to uproot our whole life to move there, she should transfer the house’s ownership now to make sure things do not get messy later.

However, my parents-in-law are hesitant to transfer the house to us right now for fear that it would cause unrest among the siblings.

But if things continue like this, my husband and I will be the ones to suffer in the future. How can we permanently move into a house that we do not know for sure that we own?

I also mentioned this to my husband, saying that it is not about the house but the transparency.

I told him: "What if we spend money to renovate the house for our future living needs only for your siblings to jump in and demand their share later?"

I know my parents-in-law want to give us the house because they love my husband, but I do not know how to change their minds about giving an early inheritance.

My husband chooses to remain silent because he values his familial bonds and is afraid to upset anyone.

How should I navigate through this?

Reader Mai

*This opinion was translated into English by AI. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.

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