Giving gold as wedding gift but viewing it as a loan

While "give gold to receive gold" may sound reasonable, it is actually quite illogical because then one can just give gold to relatives and wait until their own wedding to reap the profits as gold generally appreciates over time. The married couple who receive gold might only hold onto it to pay off the giver later instead of putting it to good use.

Gold prices can increase dramatically, making it hard to estimate the appropriate amount for reciprocation. If you give gold now and expect to get gifts five or ten years later that amount to the same value in future prices, you are essentially buying gold for yourself instead of celebrating or wishing anyone well.

Reader Mr Ken

The above comment was left on a recent story where a 32-year-old woman in northern Hai Duong Province gave her cousin a wedding gift of one mace of gold eight years ago but was aghast that the same cousin gifted her VND3.5 million (US$143) for her own wedding in August.

A mace of gold, which is a tenth of a tael and equal to 3.75 grams, was worth VND3.5 million eight years ago and VND8 million in August.

The woman believes that wedding gifts should be considered as loans to be repaid.

These are comments by other readers about the same story:

Reader Dinh Vu Quynh Duong:

"If I have a wedding, I would be terrified to receive gold. If friends and relatives give me gold, and a few years later the price increases, returning the favor can become overwhelming.

This may not be an issue for couples who keep the gold unused or improve their financial situation. However, those who sold the gifted gold, particularly those who received such gifts in 2018 or earlier, now face challenges in repaying."

Reader Quan:

"Wedding gifts should at least be enough to cover the expenses for the wedding. In principle, wedding gifts are given out of goodwill, but they are also seen as repayments if the giver has previously received one from the recipient. Hence, the giver should be mindful and repay in a way that satisfies both parties.

In the past, gold prices were stable, so giving gold represented a close relationship. However, as gold prices fluctuate wildly, such gifts are now viewed as financial burdens. If they use the gold and the price later triples, how will they repay the giver? If they do not spend it, keeping it amounts to holding it for someone else, which only adds to their worries."

Reader tamduc:

"Weddings are private matters, so the simpler they are, the better. People should only invite close friends and not think about wedding gifts.

If one expects wedding gifts to cover the wedding’s costs, it is no different from commercializing their wedding, which will not yield good results. Inviting friends to celebrate should not be about profits and losses."

What are your thoughts on reciprocating wedding gifts?

*This opinion was translated into English with the assistance of AI. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.