Don't be annoyed with family pressure, understand it

By Nguyen Phan   September 6, 2023 | 04:00 pm PT
Whenever my parents hear of their neighbors' or friends' children's achievements — high salary, a house, or a car — they call to tell me.

Many young people are afraid to come home and feel the pressure of their parents' high expectations.

Well, I was under the same pressure too, but I've learned how to understand it.

The fact that parents have high expectations for their children comes from their poor understanding of the current situation, as well as their difficult lives in the past.

There are many parents who borrow money and work hard to send their children to school with the hope that their children can have a better future than theirs. Those investments unintentionally create pressure for young people to succeed early.

The parents often do not understand the current state of the labor market. Most young people today, when they graduate, have to start from very low positions at a company, so their salary cannot be high. If they get high-paying jobs from the beginning, it is unlikely that the income will increase steadily over the years.

The pressure from parents also causes them anxiety because they want their children to be as successful as other people's children. When they hear that the children of their neighbors, friends, or co-workers have high salaries, are newly married, or have been promoted, they all wish their children could do the same, despite the fact that each person has a unique career path.

My parents live in the countryside. I understand that their telling me about other young people's achievements is their way of trying to motivate me to strive and compete and get ahead. After all, its parental love, although it does not often feel that way.

In such situations, I often pretend that I needed to do something else to end the conversation early. Or I tell my parents that some people are just showing off, and I argue that while a car can be useful for one person, it can be wasteful for another.

My parents have gradually come to understand me and now when they hear someone boast about their properties, they no longer have a strong urge to pressure me to have the same things.

I always believe that success comes from hard work and perseverance.

Each person's perception of success will depend a lot on their social environment. It is common for parents to sometimes put pressure on their children if they are surrounded by people boasting about their wealth all the time.

But you can improve and cultivate your understanding of real-life fulfillment at the same time as working harder to have more opportunities.

Some young people might be annoyed with their parents' pressure because they feel some truth in it too. Don't. Play sports, read some books, help your parents with housework, then you can see that life is easily fulfilled. Stay away from social networks that are full of posts of people bragging about new phones or glamorous overseas trips.

Young people should not care about how other people are living, because that doesn't help you get better.

Being afraid to go home because your parents always compare you with others partly shows that you let negative thoughts control you.

Hopefully, some of my views will help young people feel less afraid to go home, and more confident to make real conversations with their parents and eliminate family conflicts.

The opinions expressed here are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress's viewpoints. Send your opinions here.
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