The valid reasons people are reluctant to have children

This juxtaposition illustrates why people, especially those with children, feel the weight of family responsibility so acutely.

Calls to increase social responsibility for singles and childless individuals, or to boost subsidies for families, are well-intentioned responses to declining birth rates in many countries. Yet, these measures often fall short. Family responsibility always outweighs social responsibility, and no subsidy can rival the financial stability of a solid income.

This global issue requires nuanced solutions, not quick fixes borrowed from other countries. Moreover, while declining birth rates are a challenge, they also present an opportunity to reimagine societal priorities.

According to a 2022 World Bank research, a global fertility rate of 2.3 is necessary to maintain population stability, accounting for healthcare advancements, social security needs and conflicts. High fertility rates persist only in underdeveloped economies, particularly in Africa, where rates exceed 3. Meanwhile, countries like Japan (1.26), Canada (1.33), the EU (1.5) and Australia (1.63), known for their strong healthcare and social policies, grapple with birth rates far below replacement level. Competitive environments further exacerbate this trend in places like Hong Kong (0.7) and South Korea (0.78).

Most individuals in society possess similar capabilities. Those who dedicate more time to work often achieve higher incomes and faster career advancement. Even when time spent working is equal, those without family obligations can relax and recover, enhancing their efficiency. Raising a child, especially in modern society, demands extraordinary responsibility, time and financial resources.

When I buy a ticket for my child to swim, I must supervise from the stands because city pools require children under 14 to remain within a parent’s sight. While the Australian government offers childcare subsidies, no policy can alleviate the sleepless nights spent caring for a sick child. Government programs can help mothers return to work, but they cannot stretch the 24 hours in a day to accommodate both career ambitions and self-care.

This explains why Australians approach parenthood cautiously. In 2022, the average age of first-time mothers in Australia was 29.8, and the average age for having children was 31.2. Families with two children often space births just 27 months apart to minimize disruptions and maximize efficiency: siblings of similar ages can share toys and clothes. Despite these strategies, the number of childless families and singles continues to rise. In 2021, 38% of Australian families were childless, even with extensive government support. The appeal of a stress-free "DINK" lifestyle (double income, no kids) remains strong. Notably, Australia is still considered one of the world’s most livable countries, with a less demanding work culture compared to many Asian nations.

Vietnam’s fertility rate of 1.96 has endured, a testament to cultural traditions. Unmarried individuals face constant questions from relatives, and childless couples endure emotional pleas from parents during Tet. Parents understand that raising a child is life’s greatest challenge, but also its most profound joy. Children are not merely responsibilities, but bonds that hold families together. Yet, these cultural values may not withstand the dual pressures of economic hardship and Western influence.

Young people today have valid reasons for delaying or forgoing parenthood. They reason: "Walking barefoot is better than wearing ill-fitting shoes" or "If I can’t give my child a good life, I’d rather not bring them into this world." Overcrowded healthcare systems and the rising cost of raising children exacerbate these concerns. Even provincial incentives fail to sway many.

By my calculations, raising a child to adulthood costs at least four years of a mother’s income. That’s without factoring in the opportunity costs of lost career advancement. Many families devote up to 40% of their income to their children. Without addressing these fundamental struggles, pro-birth policies will remain ineffectual.

The government must prioritize dialogue with parents to understand their concerns and focus on solving real challenges. Supporting working-class families should take precedence over changing societal attitudes through moral appeals. Education remains a major concern. In cities and industrial areas, many women, especially low-income and migrant workers, hesitate to have children because they see friends struggling to find childcare. Public schools are insufficient. Policies should ensure enough kindergartens and schools within 500 m for all children.

Housing is another pressing issue. Rising housing costs deter many couples from starting families. Vietnam's goal of building one million social housing units by 2030 is ambitious, but faces significant hurdles. Social housing should be rented, not sold, to preserve land for future needs. If sold, even one million units would only impact 4% of the population. Renting could serve more people over time.

Family stability also plays a critical role. Vietnamese courts handle around 600,000 divorce cases annually. In Ho Chi Minh City, one in every 2.7 marriages ends in divorce. This fosters anxiety among young people, who fear they cannot succeed where others have failed. Parenting challenges often exhaust couples, leading them to stop having more children.

Life belongs to the individual, and I have no advice for couples. However, society must ease the pressure on young families. Teachers should stop asking parents to assist with homework. Parents and in-laws should support rather than criticize young couples' parenting choices. Neighbors should empathize with crying babies rather than gossiping about their parents. These small acts of understanding could make a world of difference.

Vietnam's current fertility rate is a remarkable achievement given the circumstances. While reversing the birth rate decline may be impossible, slowing it is crucial. After all, an overpopulated world with dwindling resources is no utopia.

*To Thuc is a lecturer at James Cook University in Australia.