Should I let go of my good but poor boyfriend?

By My Nhan   April 12, 2024 | 03:12 pm PT
While I don’t yearn for a wealthy lifestyle, I find myself wavering at the thought of a future where my family lacks our own home and is compelled to rent for shelter.

My boyfriend, 38, and I, 33, have been acquainted for four months. Getting to know him has been a joy, as he embodies the ideal partner I’ve longed for over many years. He exudes warmth, gentleness, and kindness, with a pleasing and radiant demeanor complemented by his tall stature.

His sincerity is evident in his frequent gift-giving to delight me and his indulgent pampering as well. He’s an excellent cook and often prepares meals for me. Throughout our relationship, he has shown unwavering attentiveness, caring for me at every turn and consistently being the one to openly express his love.

Our relationship is seemingly flawless. However, my boyfriend’s financial background is less than ideal. His family was forced to sell their home 10 years ago due to his father’s substantial debts, leading them to live in rental housing ever since. With his mother having passed away long ago, he now resides with his father and older brother, shouldering the responsibility as the family’s main support, burdened by their collective needs.

Acknowledging his financial struggles, I refrain from expecting material gifts from him. When dining out, we alternate covering the bill—me on one occasion, him on the next—to ensure he can continue supporting his family. It pains me to see such a kind-hearted man plagued by challenging familial financial situations.

This relationship has also made me appreciate my family’s relatively more fortunate position of not having to worry about rent, despite us being middle-class and far from affluent.

However, I’m at a crossroads, torn between love and the practicality of sustenance. My boyfriend’s lack of financial security prompts me to ponder various aspects of a shared future, including raising a family and the implications of not having a stable, owned home. The thought of yearly relocations with children in tow, potential financial disputes, and whether love can suffice in the face of hardship leaves me uncertain.

Meanwhile, our love for each other is currently profound, and the thought of parting ways with my boyfriend fills me with regret.

What should I do now?

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