My wife with a man at a hotel. What to do?

By Quyet   December 4, 2022 | 12:13 am PT
My wife and I have overcome many difficulties in our 16-year marriage. But now she's had an affair.

Three of our children are healthy and well-mannered. We married out of love. Our love has grown since we married, and people who know us adore our family.

I’m a teacher and my wife runs the family store. I'm a family man who will always be there for my wife and children. My wife and I are quite open with one another; we can discuss any subject and often have long conversations deep into the night.

She's loyal to her family, a kind wife, and a good mother. She's well-liked by her friends and family as well.

And yet, despite all of this, a terrible tragedy has occurred. If I hadn't seen it for myself, I wouldn't have believed it.

One day my wife informed me that she had to visit her hometown 16 kilometers from our home. I continued to teach my kids at home that day.

I always put my trust in her and make sure she has enough time and space to hang out with her friends after a long day of work. In addition to love, I always tell her that trust is crucial. We would both suffer if either of us did anything to violate that trust.

That day I felt a strange and unfamiliar anxiety, so I checked my GPS for my wife's location. It turned out that she was not on the way to her hometown, but was in an entirely different location. A cold chill ran through my spine. I took my bike and followed the GPS. It took me to a motel.

When I called my wife, she said she was in her hometown and about to come back. I hoped that the GPS was malfunctioning and that my wife was really still in her hometown. However, when I saw my wife coming out of the motel with another man, I was shattered.

I called her and asked both to stop, but she and that man drove away quickly. I was frozen. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me. I had been completely devoted to my wife and kids, even putting them above myself. What did I do wrong to deserve this?

I came home and my wife arrived a while later. She cried, telling me she met the man purely for business reasons. They had lunch and had some drinks. Afterwards, she said, they lost control and went to a motel. She said it was only her second time meeting him and she did not expect things to escalate so quickly. I checked the messages on her phone and it appeared that what she said was true.

The following day, I asked to meet him and he agreed. He admitted that he was wrong, that he went to the motel with my wife, but purely for business reasons. He apologized, asking me to be more generous and not make a fuss about it. He said that would affect other people, particularly our children.

He told me he and my wife did not have sex, but I had already seen some marks that he'd left on my wife's body. He insisted that it was my wife who initiated the episode when she was alone in a car with him.

I haven't been able to sleep since that day. I'm in such a bad mood all the time I can't work. I can't understand why my wife cheated on me. I'm in pain. I’ve never felt the true feeling of betrayal until now.

My wife has shown remorse and appears to regret it. She has apologized and said she was very sorry for everything that happened and for breaking my trust. She was grateful that I did not make waves, and added that she would accept any decision I made while also pleading for me to give her another chance.

I still love my wife and kids very much. I decided to give her a second chance even though I was in so much pain.

I was furious with the man for having sensual relations with my wife. He is an authority official in my wife’s hometown.

I have all evidence: a photo of him and my wife at the motel, a recording of a conversation between him and my wife, and the mark that he left on my wife's body (I even tested it for a DNA sample).

The main problem is that he’s from my wife’s hometown. If I make a stink out of this, his reputation, career and family would be hurt. And so would my wife’s. She said she could never face her family and relatives again if people found out.

In everyone else's eyes, my wife and I are an ideal couple. But if I don't do something, I'll feel helpless, restless, cowardly. I'm in a bad dilemma and feel I can’t talk to anyone.

I share this story with all you readers so I can feel less burdened, and hope you can give me sensible, sincere advice so I can find the best solution and overcome this crisis.

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