My wife rebukes me for buying home appliance without her consent

Having been together for seven years before marriage, we now own a home and a vehicle, enjoy stable careers, and are parents to two wonderful children.

As a university lecturer with a side hustle, my monthly earnings are VND40 million (US$1,620), occasionally more. I entirely entrust these earnings to my wife for management, as I dislike and am not accustomed to handling money.

I neither smoke nor drink, nor do I socialize over drinks with friends. Thus, I am responsible for taking our children to school in the morning and picking them up after work, in addition to contributing to household duties.

Over our seven-year marriage, I have accompanied my wife and kids to visit my in-laws for the Tet Lunar New Year five times, a rarity among men. We also visit her parents twice a month. Frequently, I buy generous gifts for them, ranging from an air conditioner and a washing machine to a massage chair. My in-laws have a high regard for me.

On the other hand, my wife always insists on having things her way, down to the specific fruits and vegetables we purchase, leading to reprimands for any deviation. This has led me to a point where I hesitate to make decisions at home, even needing her approval for basic shopping.

Of late, my wife’s work has left her frequently irritable. Our first child’s struggle in school has become a point of contention, for which she holds me accountable.

Observing my wife’s stress and our children’s dietary challenges, I bought a slow juicer to prepare nutritious drinks for them. That evening, my wife condemned my decision, linking it to our child’s academic issues and unauthorized shopping, deeming it unacceptable.

This made me feel demeaned, prompting me to assert the need for her respect, only to be met with further reproach.

I now find everything overwhelmingly exhausting, feeling at a loss on how to continue with my wife and wishing for a respite. Yet, my love for my children prevails.

What should I do?