My mother-in-law purchases house for us but insists on controlling everything

She had committed to buying a house for my husband and me prior to our marriage six years ago, yet failed to fulfill this promise. Instead of spending on us, she chose to invest her funds in lucrative real estate ventures. Repeatedly, she used various strategies to ensure we lived under the same roof as her, including commands and persuasive tactics to sidestep discussions about the promised house.

Now, with two children, our family struggles with space in a home shared with my parents-in-law and sister-in-law, especially given the kids’ rambunctious nature which disturbs their grandparents.

Consequently, my mother-in-law opted to purchase a modestly priced apartment for us. The apartment, costing close to VND2 billion (US$80,800), required us to borrow almost VND1 billion from acquaintances for renovations and furnishings.

Despite not contributing financially to these expenses, my mother-in-law incessantly interjected her preferences, insisting on selecting everything from the sofa to the television. If we didn’t comply, she would become frustrated and assert her ownership over the house.

Furthermore, she insisted on possessing a complete set of keys, granting her access to both the main entrance and every room within the house.

She believes I owe her gratitude for the house, which was acquired with her funds.

Nonetheless, I maintain that the gesture of buying a house for one’s offspring and their children, as done by my mother-in-law, should be seen as a generous, unconditional act. Whether it was me or another individual marrying her son, she would have likely extended the same generosity. Therefore, I question why she overlooks the fact that I am the mother of her two grandsons.

I’m seeking advice on how to handle this situation. If you were me, what would you do?