My girlfriend forces me to financially support her whole family

I’m 42 and divorced. My ex-wife has custody of our two kids, and I send them VND16 million a month as alimony.

My girlfriend is 35. We started dating a year ago after getting introduced to each other through mutual connections. She is pretty, kind, and sensitive. She knows how to make me happy, and most importantly, she does not have any problems with me being divorced.

However, her family background is rather complicated. Her parents are a bit like thugs, while her older brother is self-employed as he is not satisfied with working in office hours. He is now running his own hotpot shop which only serves in the evening, and he merely stays home doing nothing during the day.

I recently offered my girlfriend to move in with me. I also suggested that we register our marriage, though I do not have any plans for a wedding ceremony. I told her to quit her current job, which pays her a monthly salary of VND10 million, to be a housewife after our marriage as well. In compensation for that I will give her VND20 million every month, and she can keep the unused amount after paying for our living costs.

My girlfriend said she would accept my offer given that I promised to take care of her family. She said her parents and brother do not have stable jobs, so she wanted me to give them an additional VND8 million a month. On top of that, I have to cover their expenses in case they are sick or get involved in any unexpected issues that require money as well.

She also asked me to help her brother get a job, however, she said the job should be undemanding so that he could keep taking care of his hotpot business.

Honestly speaking, I am just a director of a foreign organization based in Vietnam. My title can sound high, but in fact I am not that powerful and wealthy.

Also, I think if I agree with my girlfriend’s requests, her family can demand even more from me in the future. They can also grow financially reliant on me. My reputation may be harmed as well in case I help my girlfriend’ brother to get a job but he then does it without responsibilities.

I want to find some way to both keep my relationship with my girlfriend and avoid being taken advantage of at the same time. What should I do?