Is it unreasonable to seek divorce because of my husband's excessive drinking?

By Quynh Chi   January 7, 2024 | 03:08 pm PT
My husband drinks at least five days a week, sometimes joining two or three different groups in a single day.

At 39, my husband is a commune chairman and previously gave me VND8 million (US$328) monthly for our family expenses.

I am 36, a high school teacher and deputy secretary at the school, earning VND10 million monthly. Though my workload is significant, we have a comfortable life without debts or affluence.

My husband recently decided to keep his salary for himself, stating that he needs it for socializing with friends. He justifies his drinking habit with various reasons: work obligations, meetings with close friends, and occasionally my brothers.

He often visits karaoke bars or plays billiards post-drinking as well, and only returns home between 1-2 a.m. This leads to late mornings, rushing, and irritability the following day. Our relationship also suffers because how he regularly comes home late and intoxicated.

When not drinking, he takes our daughters to school but rarely helps with housework and is constantly on his phone. He prioritizes drinking over family, even taking leave from work to drink sometimes, but if I ask him to do the same thing to care for our sick daughters, he never does. Our daughters also criticize his drinking.

I sense a lack of family commitment and feel like he treats home as merely a stopover. This pattern has persisted for a decade.

Since I have unsuccessfully urged him to reduce drinking and socializing, divorce has crossed my mind.

But people around me regard my husband as kind and they believe divorcing over his drinking is unwise. His brothers also drink heavily, but their wives do not object, leading others to view me as selfish, adding to my confusion.

What shoud I do?

go to top