I'm mad with my brother-in-law's family

By Huyen Lan   August 28, 2023 | 04:00 pm PT
I’m married with two kids. We have a VND1 billion (around $42,000) debt as we borrowed money to buy our house, and now I’m not satisfied with my brother-in-law's behavior.

My husband is self-employed and he does not make a lot of money. I have to be the breadwinner of my family, and in addition to the debt we are having, we have to spend a lot for our kids’ hospital fees too, as they get sick very often.

I do not only work, but also have to take care of the kids as well every time they get sick, since my mother-in-law refuses to help us as a result of our conflicting personalities. Now I have some problems with my husband’s brother too.

My brother-in-law’s family sold their house here for VND3 billion and then relocated to the south last year. They used the whole VND3 billion to buy land piece at their new area, and asked my mother-in-law to sell her land slot to give them VND2 billion.

They then used the money my mother-in-law gave them to buy a house and initially planned to operate a small business in it. But their business failed, they lost their investments, and returned here.

The thing is they did not sell their house in the south. Instead, they are living in a rented accommodation near my family. All of the conflicts between me and them starting from here.

My brother-in-law has two kids, one is 15 and one is five. Both of them are healthy and rarely get sick, unlike my kids, so they do not have to spend a lot on their healthcare.

Still, they eat for free at my house in the day when I am at work, and only return to their house for their dinner in the evening. They have borrowed everything from my family, from a broom, a chair, to cooking ingredients like soy sauce, spices, and oil.

I am not satisfied with that and have told my husband many times that I do not agree with that, as we are financially suffering while their family is not.

If they do not have enough money to buy those basic things, they can still sell their house and their land piece in the south instead of borrowing everything from a family in debt like ours and using them for free.

I got even madder when I found out that they asked my husband to pick their kids up from and to school. My husband does not even complete his tasks of taking care of our kids, so him wanting to take care of his brother’s children is a ridiculous idea.

My brother-in-law and his wife recently asked my husband to let them bring their laundry to my house and wash them with our washing machine. They said they would want to do so for about half a year, which I strongly disagreed with, and because of that, had a big argument with my husband.

I told him that I wanted to file for a divorce, because my dissatisfaction with his brother’s family is not our only discord. My husband is a bad-tempered man, and every time we argue, he swears at my parents as well.

In response, he threatened to apply for custody rights and not let me see our kids anymore.

What should I do?

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