I don’t let wife know about my assets other than a house

By Quang Thang   February 12, 2024 | 04:25 pm PT
I give my wife all my salary, but do not share other incomes with her nor discuss investment decisions.

I live with my wife and our four-year-old kid in Hanoi. There was a period of time when I struggled financially, all started because I bought an apartment on installment before getting married. Since it was far from my workplace, I leased it out and rented another house closer to where my wife worked for convenience and used income from the rent to pay for our living expenses.

My monthly salary was thus used to pay the bank. My wife was working for a state-owned institution at the time, so she did not earn much and her salary was barely enough to cover our family expenses, leaving us struggling financially.

I then borrowed nearly VND300 million (US$12,300) due to financial desperation to invest in forex and ended up losing everything, which I did not tell my wife about. My wife started an online business at around the same time, and I helped her with deliveries to save shipping fees. I proposed that my wife sell her dowry gold for investment purposes, but she refused.

For almost a year, I had no money to contribute financially and only assisted her with deliveries for her online business. I felt that my wife did not look down on me but she was not satisfied with me either. There were times when I raised my voice and she said I would have nothing to eat without her. I started to feel insulted.

Since then, I began to distrust her and secretly borrowed another VND40 million from friends to start over. By mid-2022, when the bank interest rates were high, I made enough money to fully pay off the apartment, avoiding further interest. After the 2023 Tet Lunar New Year, I managed to buy another house close to the place we rented for nearly VND4 billion, which was registered in both our names. I paid for the furniture and other expenses of the house on my own. Since then, I stopped doing deliveries for my wife.

I recently bought a two-hectare piece of forest land in the Central Highlands as well as invested in several other business sectors. However, I registered everything in my name only. I think letting our newly purchased house be registered in both my and my wife’s names was enough, since she did not share my difficulties with me when I struggled, so I felt no obligation to share the assets I earned with her. If she had supported me and not insulted me verbally, I would not have acted this way.

I currently give her all my salary to cover household expenses, but I do not tell her the exact amount I earn or my investments.

Do you think my decision to keep my investments private from my wife is justified?

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