I divorce my selfish wife

By Hoang   February 3, 2023 | 07:00 pm PT
I am 41 years old. I just got divorced from my wife half a year ago. I feel like this is the totally right decision.

I got married when I was 36. My wife is 11 years younger than me. My daughter is now more than 3 years old and I stay with my wife’s family since I like that, though lately my wife has said that we should live separately.

I work from Monday to Friday every week. I only eat dinner at home and on weekends. I give her VND5 million ($213) per month for food expenses, which I think is totally fine if she manages well. My salary is about VND20-VND30 million per month, but I don’t want her to know that and always delete my salary message inbox on my phone so she is not curious about it.

I also have savings and other income, but she doesn’t know about that either. My wife earns around VND10-VND15 million per month. She is a simple person. Aside from her own expenses, she doesn’t shop outside too much. In the beginning, she wanted me to be transparent about my income, but I was not happy about it so she kept silent.

Each year I give her half a mace of of gold at Tet (Lunar New Year holiday) but didn’t give her anything extra on other occasions. I think that if she knows I have more, she would demand more and that’s not so good.

I have to share that I always tried to make her independent since getting married as I wanted her to get stronger on her own. For example, if she needed to do a pregnancy checkup, she would go by herself or her mom could bring her to the hospital. I felt that was very normal.

When she got out of the hospital, I was busy with some paperwork so I let her manage, but she got angry at me. Once I was hit by a motorbike and broke my leg, and my wife asked for leave from her work to bring me to the hospital.

I think her concern towards me is understandable. Since she got pregnant, we haven’t had sex in the last 3 years. I told her that my work as an accountant is very stressful, but she doesn’t empathize with me, but actually gets angry with me.

The problems got worse as she does not get along with my relatives. Once my nephew scolded my daughter, so my wife told my sister to reconsider the way she raised her child. My sister said that there was no evidence of the scolding, and then the argument between my wife, my sister, and my brother-in-law got worse.

I considered that a minor incident and asked her to calm down, but she continued to argue. If she can’t deal with such small matters, why should I live with her anymore? After the divorce, I no longer took care of or provided for my child. At first, I did provide VND2 million per month for child support, but she didn’t seem to need it so I stopped providing it to her.

Is there anything wrong in the way I treat her?

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